Saturday August 2 2014

A lesson on holding my tongue

By Carol Nambowa

My husband and I sometimes have the silliest fights. Usually, we have no idea what even started a quarrel. The good thing is that they usually end amicablly, with us laughing at our foolishness. However, this time we went too far with the fight.

I think it had something to do with one of our daughter’s letter from school. She had given it to us at the beginning of the term and we had marked the date in both our phones. However, both of us didn’t save the details of what was in the letter.

We just saved that there was an important “something” happening at her school. My husband got a notification almost at the same time I did and we both wondered what it was.

When we both couldn’t recall the event, the conversation changed to the hard copy of the letter. I was sure he was the one who had kept it since he always keeps our documents.

However, he said I was the one who had kept it. We went back and forth for a while. Then things got ugly.
He said I didn’t like to own up to my mistakes.

I said he is always quick to blame anyone but himself. So really we were blaming each other for having the same flaw.

Soon he was talking about how no other man would stand me and I was telling him that another woman would have already left him. Then we opened old wounds about what his family really thinks about me and how my sister warned me not to marry him.

It was like this wave of anger had overtaken us. I pointed out all the things about his life that he is sensitive about and he did the same. That night, he didn’t come home and I didn’t really care if he was lying dead by the roadside.

After I calmed down and realised he had not communicated for almost a day, I started to worry. I knew I had to make the first communication. My husband is a proud man.

It’s something I have come to accept. When I called him, he was at his brother’s place and had been feeling silly about the fight. So was I. He came home and we agreed not talk when we are angry. I don’t know if we will keep our promise but it was a good lesson on holding your tongue.

As told to Carol Nambowa