Are nudity and paid bills our main trophies for feminism?
Posted Saturday, February 16 2013 at 00:00
Why do we bother with the fight for equality when, on the social scene, women reduce themselves to giggling gyrating bodies that imbibe alcohol bought by one male or other.
I had a wonderful night out on the town recently. A couple of men and I were at one of the local hangouts, and from mutual undiscussed agreement, each person at the table bought a round of drinks. Naturally, when I needed a refill for my drink, I asked the waitress to get refills for everyone at the table too. They had been doing the same thing after all. No one objected and the night was a kind of feminist heaven.
I know they did not lose sight of the fact that I was a woman because in arguments, they said “You won’t get this because you are a woman…” “Since you are a woman…” But still, they bought me drinks and they let me buy drinks. This is something that has always been an issue. Call it the bill question.
Despite battles by feminists everywhere asserting that women are independent, must be treated equal and given promotions at work, the question remains. We have women leaders and yet still, on the social scene, women reduce themselves to giggling gyrating bodies that imbibe alcohol bought by one male or other. One wonders why we fight for equality in the first place, when we are so eager to have the men pick our bills. It is an awkward situation that shows laws can only go so far. Even when an educated girl is earning enough, she still pays for her next drink in giggles and rub-a-dubs. What is it that we are fighting for then, when we chant about our equality and even expose our brassieres to make a statement at the Central Police Station?
Changes have been made into our systems, and today’s woman is miles ahead of yesterday’s. The only problem is she has covered those miles in exposed skin and has nothing to show for them but her collection of stilettos. There are more employment opportunities but most women drive cars bought by a husband, a father or an admirer- a male admirer. Very few women have bought land somewhere because well, the man must do that. If unmarried, the woman will be buried in her father’s land and if married, in her husband’s family’s burial grounds. This is not just what society dictates but is also what many women are comfortable with. I do not wish to preach to anyone about this, for I have had my fair share of a man picking my bill. I will blame waitresses and waiters for handing the bill to the man like I had nothing to eat or drink. I will blame men for being chauvinistic. And many times, I will blame me for not taking a stand when the bill arrived because you see, I never agree to go anywhere unless I have enough money for my share of the bill and transport back. This is not the man’s problem, however. We shout about equality and equitable resource sharing but we only complain when something is taken from us.
We need to think of the moments we unfairly take from the men too. It might go a long way to creating a societal balancing of the sexes.