Full Woman

Challenged by the festive season

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Posted  Saturday, December 28  2013 at  02:00

Dear Lucy,
The Christmas season is very trying for me. My husband’s relatives always decide to come to our house. While I welcome them, they are very difficult to please. His sisters are always complaining about this or the other. His mother sometimes sulks. At least the brothers are friendly and their wives try to be helpful in the house. When I tell my husband to talk to his sisters about their behavior or rebuke them he gets angry. How can I manage to keep sane this holiday?

My dear lady,
Consider it a privilege that your home is a warm environment which attracts all your in-laws to gather there year after year.
Begin by making a choice to change your attitude towards them. Determine that their behaviour or mannerisms will not kill your spirit of the festive season and that you are going to have the very best time of your life. Here are a few other steps that may help you get through your dilemma:
Create a team with those people who are ready and willing to help out.
Join up with the ‘wives’ of your brothers-in-law and keep yourselves busy with the preparations. That way you will steer clear of your sisters-in-law.

Learn the art of delegation. When you plan in advance, you may consider assigning simple chores for your sisters-in-law to help out and they will become participants. The simple chores I am referring to are: serving the drinks before lunch, taking family pictures, taking care of their mother etc.
Plan beforehand, how you are going to engage your mother-in-law so that she has no opportunity to sulk. If it is resting that she needs to do before the family lunch. Prepare for her a peaceful, comfortable and quiet room where she can lie down until the right time for the meal.
You can never please everybody. Do the best you can and leave the rest to God
Remember that this situation will also pass

These people can only hurt you if you allow yourself to be hurt
These people are only with you for a moment and they should not affect your mood because they are not part of your nucleus family which needs to see you happy
If it is of any help, please accept my very sincere wishes to you for a joyful Christmas season and a lovely new year 2013.

Senga Lucy

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