Disappointed by MPs, we return to life
Just imagine if Parliament was full of single young men and women. Now, that would be fun. Single people are a bit independent minded, seeing as they have no families pulling them down with bills to pay. So there would be fewer rumours doing the rounds of people who have been bribed to sponsor motions.
And, if that fist fight had happened with single people, believe me, it would have been bloody. There is a way such people have nothing to lose, so they fight to maim.
But, all wishes cannot be horses, otherwise beggars would ride. Time to return to more mundane things, instead of pinning all my hopes on a bunch of legislators who only care for their interests.
I think I am ready for some form of debauchery. I can see you sighing as you read this. I am sighing too. A whole year without some pleasant sinning? I do not even know how I have made it this far.
Right now, I am on the make. My friends laugh at me when I tell them I am on the last 15 kilogrammes of my weight loss schedule.
If I actually get the courage to go to the beach alone, I need to be in perfect shape. No cellulite and protruding ‘love pillows’ for me, please.
Is it possible for one to wear a body shaper in a swimsuit? I intend to do so. Honestly, I hope to attract a following, even if it comprises grey haired potbellied men.
I do believe this kind of fun will give me the energy boost I need to finish 2017. Although I do not want to be like my cousin who got too carried away in her loneliness.
Once, on a holiday on the islands of Kalangala District, she met a young bartender who was very happy to offer a listening ear to the woes of a single woman who was overweight and on the wrong side of 35.
She had had a little too much to drink, and the dim bar lights, the water lapping on the shore, and the cool breeze were too much for her to bear. The cozy atmosphere would have brought a married woman to her knees.
Well, a fling of three days is what we expected. Not a marriage, for crying out loud. This is a highly educated corporate woman who was head over heels with a barman who could not even find his Senior Four certificate.
But then, that is love for you. I do not want to get that desperate. Surely, even when you are so madly in love, you still retain the thinking part of your brain.
