Even lovers need a holiday from each other
So how about you give that relationship a holiday break? No, I am not saying you throw her out. I am saying you give each other some space, see if it does not rejuvenate your love life.
Well, I am no relationship counsellor, but I think there is something called relationship fatigue, which in simple terms means you are too much in each other’s faces.
Now, some people thrive like this. They cannot get enough of each other, and every second apart is like eternity. Therefore, this might seem like bad advice, but even you cuddle bears need this break. It will do wonders for you, trust me.
Okay, before you trust me, let me tell you about a friend called Joan. Joan dated Sam for four years before they tied the knot. They were a close couple, and even after marriage, they remained so.
However, over the years, she started feeling cloistered. She is a free spirit, who likes doing things spontaneously; going off on wild goose chases.
Sam understands this about her, and lets her be whatever she wants. But even with this way of life, she started getting cabin fever.
And how do I know so much about Joan? Joan is a friend. We have been friends for so long that for everything she does not understand about her husband, or men in general, she talks to me. So she once asked me if it was normal that she was starting to feel resentment towards Sam for keeping her ‘prisoner’.
Sam was not keeping her prisoner. I was very sure of that. What she meant was that Sam was too much in her life, in her face that she seemed to have no other life besides that with him. Some people think marriage is supposed to be like that, but Joan and I disagree. So I told her, “Well, marriage is supposed to be like that. You share a life with him, what else do you expect? Maybe he is also feeling cloistered by you”.
And her face lit up, as if she had got a bright new idea. She said, “You know what I am going to do? I am going to give him a break. No, we are going to give each other a break.
This Christmas, he will go wherever he wants, and I will go wherever I want’. And she ran off to tell Sam about her new plan.
What happened in the end was this. Joan went to visit her family while Sam and the children went to visit his family. Usually, they would go together to visit one of their families. Joan was excited about this.
Two days later, she missed Sam so much she wanted to go and join them. But she did not. When they reunited for New Year’s, she says she felt a new love for him. It was like seeing a long lost lover. She could not get enough of him.
Now that is her tactic. Once in a while, they plan to give each other a break for a week or so. It works for them. Maybe you should try it too.
