Focusing on what really matters

What you need to know:

MULTI-TASKING. The modern woman is known to want it all and that is okay as long you never lose sight of what is most important, as Pauline Bangirana learnt from a Women’s Day gathering.

One of the Women’s Day celebrations last week was a women’s meeting at the Sheraton Kampala Hotel themed Motherhood and the modern mum. I may not be a mother yet but this was one meeting I’m glad I was able to attend. Let me share some of the lessons I picked from the women in attendance;
1. Pay attention to the smallest things
“There was a time I was doing so well at work, very respectably. I thought I was doing a good job and I was an example of work-life balance. One day, I realised that one of my daughters had a torn bag and had been wearing torn socks for the whole term and I hadn’t even noticed! It wasn’t that I couldn’t afford it; I just did not have the time to notice. I was saddened. I decided to slow down and focus on the children because I had lost it to my work. My children have a new mum and my husband has a new wife and I love the new me,” shared Grace Makoko.

2. Work together as partners
“These children know our soft spots and how to use them to their advantage. Once I punished my son for misbehaviour by not buying him powdered milk for school. Because his father was not aware of this, he believed him when he lied that I had only forgotten to include it in his school grab so he bought it on their way to school.
So mothers, you should always work together because this boy knew how to exploit the father since he knew that I had not informed the father that I was punishing him.” said Miria Matembe, mother of four, who was also the guest of honour.

3. There is a time for everything
“There was a time I was so busy; from studying to being a businesswoman and later a politician. My children stopped telling me anything because they knew my answer. One of them even reported me to my sister while the other once told me that ‘even dogs carry their children’ after I told her that I could not carry her since I was very busy.
“While pursuing my PhD, I left home for the US and when I returned, my daughter could not recognise me. She once called me uncle and on another occasion, she called me daddy. I then decided that wherever I would go, I would take my children with me. After my studies, I decided to take four years off to be a mother to them. Within that time, we bonded,” Dr Betty Udongo, a former Member of Parliament, Nebbi District, and a mother of three shared.

4. Encourage children (Give them Vitamin E)
“I work with children suffering with drug addiction. I explain to them that stages in recovery are there and are meant to help them overcome their problems.
“Encouraging children gives them hope and it also enables them to know that they can go through the different stages and get better,” Confidence Asiimwe Nkurunugi, a child counsellor said.

5. Know your child
Dr Ruth Senyonyi, a mother of four and counsellor tipped:
“There was a time my daughter hated history and it was always her worst performed subject.
“I talked to her and using my knowledge of her love for music advised her to apply the same principle as when she listens to a song once and immediately learns the lyrics. She improved and started performing better. Knowing your child helps you identify their weaknesses and how to go about it.”

Always put family first
“When you lose your job or get demoted, it is your family you fall back to. You can be a former employee but will remain someone’s wife and mother. I am a former Member of Parliament but I am still Mrs Matembe. Imagine if I had sacrificed my family for my political career!” shared Miria Matembe.
Eva Ngabirano also shared an encounter with her son; “Once I took my son with me to church. But because I’m a businesswoman, I’m always pre-occupied so I told him to go play with his friends and forgot about him until he returned to check on me. I told I had forgotten about him. His response changed me. He asked how I could have forgotten about him yet he was the most important person in my life. He was hurt. From then on, I made a resolution to spend Sundays with them at home.”