How do I know if she loves me?
Posted Saturday, July 26 2014 at 01:00
Emmanuel emailed Full Woman asking, “How will I know that my woman loves me only (alone)?” We thought we would have his fellow men share with him what they have learnt in the past.
You won’t know. You just have to believe what you see and what she tells you. But even that is no guarantee. Women talk about their feelings a lot more than men do but they also keep secrets a lot better than we do.
So, it is possible she will say she loves you today and end up with another man tomorrow and tell you that she didn’t want to hurt you. Just don’t go looking for whether you are the only man, believe and hope that you are because you just won’t know.
I think it is actually very easy to know if a woman loves you or not. See, women are extremists; when they love, they love absolutely. And when they hate, it is with a vengeance. Anything in between is tolerance. So, she either loves, tolerates or hates you. If she is in love, it glows off her. If she hates you, reeks of it. If you are not sure, most likely she is only tolerating you. If you were sure she loved you before, and you are no longer sure, then she has moved to the tolerance stage. But, don’t despair; most of us go through life “tolerated”, but believing we are loved. And women are quite content to leave us in our ignorance. In fact, very few people even know what it is to be truly loved by a woman. My dear friend, if she is with you, and you are not sure if she loves you or not, no she doesn’t love you, but she also hasn’t reached the point of hating you.
Seriously? You will not tell. This is one of those things you have to just convince yourself and live happily in denial. You do not want to test your popularity like this. But if you must find out, you could maybe monitor her non-verbal behaviour in different situations. Seeing as we all unintentionally say our genuine feelings and thoughts about different things with our actions, maybe you can use that to determine if your woman loves just you!
Just like some men, women can also be incredible liars and manipulators but sometimes become oblivious to everything going on around them. They get too caught up in their own little deceitful worlds to realise they are presenting vital telltale signs of their infidelity. So once you master the art of reading her mind and her reactions, then you are close to finding out many things! There are exceptions though. Some people are so far deep into the game that you might never pick a single anomaly! I say, you just have to trust your instincts on this.
Love is a mystery, chief! Not even Shakespeare’s characters walk with paintings of love on them. Not even St Paul, the Bible man who says “love is the greatest of all gifts”. Love exists in the heart and no one is a tenant or resident of another man’s heart, Scientists are yet to invent heart readers. Only the creator (supposedly) can do that! And that is where women get it wrong, to think a man loves you with all his heart, mind, soul and strength and swear that you can walk to hell if he ever cheated on you. Really? Not even a ventilator of “anything can happen?” Back to you ssebo, don’t stress your little heart wondering if and how she will show you she loves you alone. What if she pretends and actually shows you so? Instead, ask how you can make her love you alone. If you want her to show you she loves you alone, please walk to a cinema and watch a kina-Uganda!
Didn’t even think we were really required to answer to this. How will I know, you ask? And I say, that’s the question on every man’s mind. Because the human concept of “love” changes with time. A 16-year-old understands love in a very different way from a 25-year-old and even more different from a 35-year-old.
When you are young, when she says she loves you, she might mean she loves you as long as you satisfy her needs to go to the mall on Saturday; you must be ready to be shown off to her friends and you must always get with the programme. If another boyfriend in the clique shows up with a Harley one day, you have got to match that, or you are toast.
When you grow through that drama and cross over to the other side, you start understanding love in a different way. Love is a verb. It means even when you are not “in the mood” to be nice and do thoughtful things for her, you need to do them just so she knows she is in your heart. So, when she says she loves you only, you know she means she appreciates the time you put into these things and she realises that only a person who loves her could go to those lengths.