Saturday February 1 2014

I’m desperate for a husband and child

Dear Lucy,
I’m the eldest at home. I’m 30 without child or husband. Two of my younger siblings already have children, though not married. I would like to produce too but I want to do it right as per my Christian beliefs. In addition to the stress of not finding marriage yet, there’s now the stress from family to be serious and get kids too. It is becoming too much for me to bear, and I’m honestly usually tempted to take the easy way out. What if I never get a partner willing to settle properly in time? Am I making a mistake?


I would like to answer your last question first. Yes, in my opinion you would be making a mistake if you allow yourself to be driven by the pressures from the people around you. However, you will not be making a mistake if you allow God to direct your path. Your life has been planned out by God from the beginning of time and nothing you will do to assist God will benefit you.

From what you have written, I think you are a committed Christian. Oftentimes we are tempted to want to take charge of our lives and to find solutions to our questions and longings. We presume that God has forgotten us, or that He is slow in responding. However, some of the delays are actually ways of forestalling even greater possible dangers that could have been.

Considering that you are the eldest, I think that you should maintain the exemplary lifestyle that you have led up to this point. Like you define it, the easy way out is never the best way out. Remain steadfast and you will surely be a winner.
I also thought it important to remind you of the following five points:

1.You are special and complete in Christ Jesus
2.Continue to find your true identity in God and He will fulfill you
3.Do not let the need for a husband and/or child define you or your destiny
4.Do not allow your family put you under pressure to compromise your Christian beliefs
5.Wait patiently on God

On a very personal note, I got married at an even older age than yours, but that did not deter me from achieving all that I desired to accomplish in my lifetime. I have been blessed with a handsome, loving and understanding husband. As an added bonus, we have been blessed with children who have grown into beautiful women.

May I recommend to you a Bible scripture which has been a source of encouragement to me. You could choose to make it your declaration verse. May God meet your greatest heart’s desire in the year 2014.
“He makes all things beautiful in his time,” Ecclesiastes 3:11 (KJV)
- Senga Lucy.