Losing my family all of a sudden left me devastated - Nabulime

Singer Clarissa Nabulime lost her mother on October 12, 2017. A month later, her grandmother passed on, owing to depression from losing her daughter. Within a week’s time, Nabulime lost her father due to kidney failure.
“It has been the most devastating experience. I would not wish for anyone to go through what I had to endure. I still feel so alone all of a sudden,” Nabulime says.

Suffering the trauma of loss
Nabulime feels the emptiness of losing the three people who were closest to her since she lived with them. “Things happen to me now and I think to myself, why me? Can’t this life get better? I have been having bad dreams. I wonder if it is the weird things that I think about during the day that cause the dreams,” she questions.
In one of the dreams, Nabulime recalls, her mother came back from nowhere and was with her family, once more, wearing her ‘traditional’ smile. “She walked into my room and picked her golden necklaces and sunglasses. It was so traumatising that after the dream, I jumped out of my bed, only to realise it was only a dream. Whereas it was just a dream, Nabulime is holding onto her mother’s jewellery. She plans to frame and hang the items in her living room to remember her by.
“I once dreamt that I was falling in a deep dark pit, and I was hanging at the edge of a cliff fighting for my life. There was a construction truck driver who did not seem bothered to help. He kept directing the truck’s sharp digger my way, but I managed to dodge and ran away to safety.”
According to spiritualresearchfoundation.org, reasons for dreaming of the dead can include a feeling of guilt or regret for not having spent time with a loved one before he or she died or some anxiety about that departed family member.

Missing my family
“My mother was a woman of her word. She always meant what she said. She was not afraid to speak her mind. She was tough. The older I get, the more I learn to appreciate her sense of child upbringing (spare the rod and spoil the child).”
She adds, “Mother was also classy. She always loved to look good. She was a fashionista in every sense. She loved to smell good and I picked that from her. I cannot stand bad odour.”
Nabulime describes her grandmother as a good storyteller and a kind person who was always calm. She enjoyed telling her grand

children bedtime stories and was always happy to interact with them.
“My dad was quiet, calm. He did not talk much but he was a sweet soul. I learnt a lot about life from each of them. I got favours from each of them. I agreed and disagreed with each of them. Sometimes, it was absolutely dramatic, particularly during my teenage. We would fight, apologise and make up. Sometimes I would get cheeky and go missing but come back, get punished and be forgiven.”
In her parents, she had friends. Now that the three are gone, more realities of life come knocking. As one of the older children, she has to look out for her younger siblings, to make sure that they are safe and happy and do not stray from the family values.
“At times, I get tired and frustrated because of the weight of responsibility. I have to pull myself together and be strong. It is hard though, because sometimes I imagine my mother has gone to the market and will be back soon. Then I slap myself and wake up to the reality that she is gone. I always pray for her wherever she is, and for my father and grandmother,” she says.

Recovering from the pain
The bad dreams are gone, which, to her, is proof that prayer works. She is concentrating on being an inspirational singer.
“I wish to travel to my desired destinations. Rome has always been on my mind, Miami, Paris, Spain. I wish most of all to commune with God in prayer. There are many bad people and thoughts. I wish to keep all dear friends and family who have been with me through all this. I would like to grow old and happy with them. I am thankful for their love and I wish to reciprocate.”
She adds, “I wish for more strength, knowledge, wisdom, peace and love, and of course I wish for my dreams to come true because my capability amazes me.” Her advice for those who have experienced loss in their lives is to take heart.
“Losing those we love is part of life. It is okay to cry about the loss. It is inevitable, but try to be strong. There is not a soul on earth who does not or will not go through death and loss.

About Nabulime
Singer Clarissa Nabulime launched her career on the stage of Tusker Project Fame (TPF), a regional music competition. She has also participated in the Coca Cola Popstars and Idols Africa. She fuses folk and world music. Nabulime has released; Okwagala Silutalo, Njakubeera Nawe and Akuloga, Ndayira on which she features veteran musician Sammy Kasule.