Love says no

He looked at me with tears welling up in his eyes. My heart broke into a thousand small pieces. As always something within me almost melted; then wisdom got the better of me. He had no idea but I reminded myself like I have done so many times in this journey; love knows and applies the word no.

He had been up really early and near his school bag were two extra pieces of luggage with his belongings which he had hoped to use for a sleepover at a friend’s home.

A few days prior, he had coaxed me into the idea that he would visit his friend Mark. I had not given permission partly because I was not quite sure but also because I used it as a gauge to see just how organised he was.

I always emphasise to each of the children the need for planning, preparation, excellence as well as a firm grip and use of one’s mental faculties. So he had packed although he had done an absolutely lousy job. Also, he had not finished his home chores; even the basics such as laying his bed neatly, washing his face or cleaning up the bathroom. As usual, he was in a rush and all that mattered was his pending visit.

And right there, I stepped in and told him the trip was off until he showed enough responsibility. He was hurt and angry. I reminded him that his very reaction and bad attitude risked the entire plan being suspended indefinitely. He understood the seriousness of the matter so despite his anger I saw him recollecting himself.

I did not want him to end up like the 10-year-old girl who has held her entire family at ransom. She is her father’s princess so when she throws a tantrum everyone bends and buckles. I have listened and watched the story unfold before my eyes.

And I recall how my mother had the toughest skin in the world. It did not matter what manner of tantrum you threw, she would never budge. I always wondered just how hard she could be. Totally unmoved and untouched. Despite its immense power, the little word no has never and will never kill a child or anyone for that matter.

I always tell myself there is a lot of a difference between the mommy in the real world and the mommy in the movies. The one in the movies somehow raises perfect children without much ado because those children are not real. They are simply characters while the one in real life deals with real children and real issues.

Anyone worth their name must master the art of using and making the most of no. In fact you just might save a life.

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