Saturday March 8 2014

Male ramblings: The new neighbours

By Eugene Mugisha

I was bothered when I learnt that my neighbours were moving out. I am not very good with change, I like keeping to old proven things. These guys had been here ever since I moved in. They were a young couple, about three years married, and had two little kids. Every morning, all of us went to work. The adults to their workplaces, the children to their baby business in day care. Weekends were peaceful, apart from the occasional kids’ party, which I didnot mind that much. Simply put, we stayed out of each other’s business, and gave each other no reason to get into the other’s business. It was just perfect. Then, they decided to move out. The guy had got a job relocation, they had to move.

Then, I literally prayed that if whoever moves into that house is even half as decent as these guys, I would be contented. You cannot choose your neighbours, just like beggars cannot be choosers. About a fortnight ago, I came back from work to find people moving in. It was late, I was tired, I put off the meet-the-neighbours part for another day. The next morning, I actually waited up for them to show signs of being up and about so i could go over and meet them. I am not that kind of social person, i am not even curious about people like that, but i had to know. This too was a couple or so it seemed from first impressions. i met the guy first, he had a wedding ring. There were no signs of children, but the guy is middle aged. The girl came in later. Girl, because she is technically still a girl, in her early 20s.

The introductions were made, and off I left for work. Very late, but not very disappointed with my new neighbors. They did not seem impossible to live with. What I did not know was that it is not “neighbours”, it is ‘neighbour’. The guy rents the house for the girl. I did not notice she had no wedding ring the first time I met her. It was after I had seen the guy come and go at weird hours that I noticed small things like his laundry was never part of her wash, she did not ‘behave’ like a married woman. She was still in school, I later got to learn. Besides that, she was alright as a neighboUr. She kept to herself, kept the place clean, rather, her house-help did her work really well and she never came nosing around unnecessarily. I have no issues with her, and we are on friendly terms. The guy is actually nice, we have had a couple of beers together in the evenings on one of those days when he comes ‘visiting’. Of course, I do not ask him about his arrangement with the schoolgirl; that is none of my business.

But I’m sure it is going to be my girl’s business when she finds out the truth about my neighbours. First, she subscribes to high moral grounds regarding such ‘arrangements’, and I’m sure she will have a lot to say about it. But what will get her really agitated is the girl. Did I mention that the school girl is one incredibly hot thing? Looking at her, you kind of start to agree with the guy; a normal warm-blooded male would buy an island for a girl who looks like that. And I am a normal warm, even hot at times, blooded guy. So, what now? Can’t a guy have hot neighbours? Or should I tell my girl to take a hike when she starts raining hell on me, which I surely do not deserve, since like I said I do not choose my neighbours?