Diary of a Working Married Mother: Me, a calming effect? Huh!
Posted Saturday, January 26 2013 at 00:00
Yesterday Mr paid me a compliment. He said I had a calming effect on him. We had spoken about an idea we had, but was not taking off so well. If he had seen my facial expression, he would probably have wondered. I was of course chuffed as the message came at a time of the day where I was juggling 10,000 things (I kid you not!) and hoping to manage them all. But I could not help thinking, “Me a calming effect on someone?! He has got to be kidding!” I can be the worst sometimes. When I am frustrated or angry, I can lose my marbles, not in a hair-raising way, but in a way that I suddenly can’t think. All the solutions that would easily come to mind disappear. Suddenly I get angry with the little one or the help because I am not thinking straight. While I might not be shouting, I am the least calm person around.
So to be told I do have a soothing effect made me stop for a while and wonder. I was more amused because at the time we were talking, I was upset at the people who were letting us down and I felt my anger at them was coming through the phone. But no, I was calm, he said. I still keep going back to the conversation and trying to figure how exactly this was possible. That’s how I can be, always trying to dissect and re-dissect. So I am trying to take a compliment and enjoy it, not “overanlayse” it.
Meanwhile, at a fellowship I attended, the leader made us laugh with interesting anecdotes and thoughts. One thing that struck me was how she said we women sometimes push our husbands too much. We nag and push and insist until he gets what we want done. Which might seem nice at the start but can easily backfire or come with consequences.
Lesson for the day: If you must push him, do so gently.