Saturday August 2 2014

My girlfriend is up to something

By Eugene Mugisha

Some guy is hitting on Elle. I know all about it because she tells me herself. In fact, she makes it a point to keep me updated about every development as soon as it happens.

I think I understand why she does it, all in the spirit of full disclosure, and keeping no secrets from each other stuff. But I am beginning to think she has ulterior motives.

I mean, it’s not the first time that some guy has hit on her, and I doubt if she has told me about every guy who has hit on her. What makes this particular case so special that she has to text me every time the guy does something?

She started about a week ago. I went picked her up after work, and the first thing she told me was that some guy had made a move on her. Other than that, her day had been okay, nothing unusual. Then we had dinner. I dropped her off and that was it for that day.

Next day, she sent me a text at about 9am. She was telling me that the guy had come to her workplace and asked to take her out to lunch. She didn’t say if she had accepted, and I didn’t ask. That evening, without being asked she told me she had not accepted the guy’s invitation.

She seemed to want to talk about it, so I asked what kind of person he seemed. She said he seemed okay. She didn’t know much too.

The next day, at about the same time as the previous day, she sent me another text telling me that the guy had asked to take her out to lunch. I was in a meeting, I didn’t reply. An hour later, she sent me another text saying she had accepted his invitation. Nothing wrong with that.

Come lunch time, and she bombarded me with more than 50 texts, telling me everything from the car he was driving, what shoes he was wearing to what kind of English he spoke and what they had for lunch.

I tried to respond but it got so hectic at some point that I resorted to simply reading them.

When I saw her that evening, she replayed the entire lunch thing, as if she hadn’t already told me through her texts. I didn’t know what she wanted from me, so I simply listened.

Isn’t that what women want? A man who listens and does not give his opinion? I did just that, and eventually when she seemed to have run out of steam, I got in a few questions about the guy. I was doing some checking of my own, to determine whether the guy was a threat. In the end, I couldn’t tell; she didn’t seem clear.

Then, she surprised me by asking if I wanted her to not to talk to him again. Of course that’s what I wanted. I wanted every man to stop talking to Elle, but that is not being civilised, eh? So, I told her to talk to him as long as she was okay with it.

That was like a green card for gossiping: now, every time he does anything, she tells me. I am irritated, but if I tell her to stop, I have this feeling she will think I am jealous. Or is it what she wants? To make me jealous?