Oh Romeo, what did you do?

The Romeo character seems to have set the precedent that we, men, are creations of extremes when it comes to love. But he was only fictitious, and so was that belief he created.

Oh yeah, men love as much as women love, and have been known in some cases to exceed the limits of rationality. Romeo and Juliet ring a bell? That Romeo fella, even if he was nothing but a fictional character, set a bad precedent for men. The truth is, however, that we are not creations of extremes, especially about love. Yes, we fall crazily in love and do crazy things for love, we long for passionate intimacy, but not in the measures displayed by Mr Romeo.

Most men, in fact, find love overwhelming, and the full force of Valentine’s Day very disturbing and unnerving. Usually confident, actually cocky (forgive the pun) in everything they do, Valentine ’s Day has a way of putting the guy in passenger's seat. The strange thing about this is that he is still expected to drive from that position, totally clueless about what is expected of him, and where he is even supposed to be driving to.

This makes for very unstable grounding, as things could go very right or very wrong, irreparably wrong. Some men make a passable effort and do the usual thing of flowers and dinner. But that will only sate a woman whose sense of romance is still domesticated. Then, simple things will suffice, and you will both get through the day still a couple. But then, there is that woman who will expect her usually ordinary man to become superman on Valentine ’s Day. Nothing he does will be enough and it ends up becoming a very complicated and disappointing day for the couple, instead of the simple fun loving day that it was meant to be. I’m sure that is what the good saint had in mind all those years ago, not this sudden display of emotions that may or may not even exist.

Most men will say Valentines is a suffocating day. She needs so much attention, she speaks in coded language, you are so wound up, you have limited ideas what is expected of you, and you do not even have time to sneak off and see the other girl. In fact, if you sneak off at all, whether for a lonely drink at the local bar, you had gone to see the other girl. On Valentine’s Day, more than any other day, the “other girl” is a much feared accusation. When did love become so complicated? Most men will say this; let Valentine's Day be the simplest of days. In fact, let it be scrapped off the calendar altogether because it serves no purpose to the males. Notice, I said "most", not "all". There are, unbelievably, some men who cannot wait for that day to come round so they can play out their fantasies, and show off. In all, I have learnt that overall, Valentine ’s Day has a more damaging than rewarding effect. Not because it is not a good idea, but because of the anti-climax it usually ends with, not with all those expectations of the females.

Now, Ladies, I understand this is a very one sided perspective, but I’m a guy, so what do you expect?

fullwoman@ug.nationmedia.com