Saturday February 1 2014

Oh yes; demand what is due to you

I say, she should demand then later, I say she should “not have to demand.” No mistake. Maybe to clarify, the climate she has grown up in calls for her to proactively chase for these things because by nature they should be hers. If her man is lacking, she must make some noise. But then again, because the reasons that dictated that a man provide for and defend a woman have been blown away.

She can bring the bread home like he does, build a house like he can and even buy a round in the bar. If she can earn a lot more than he can and does not necessarily have to be brawny (lift heavy sacks, drive heavy machinery), why then should she have to be given anything, and by extension, why should she have to demand for anything? Now I feel like DiCaprio in Inception.

I’m uncomfortable with the verb “demand”, mainly because we are talking about a working woman. Man has a God-given responsibility to fend for and take care of his family. Society expects it. But the wife needs to look at herself as a “helper” and especially if she is working, I would expect mine to help lessen the demands. How good your wife looks is very important. The respect you earn as a husband partly comes from how well you take care of your woman.

So, you might have to chip in on salon, spa and clothing expenses (especially when times are good) and hopefully, you will have married one with enough brains to know that if she is working or if times are hard on you, she needs to spend some of her own money on herself and the family. But that does not take away your obligations as a man and head of the family. Even if you are not working, you are supposed to find the money somehow, and meet your obligations because you are the man.

Andrew Wallace
I wouldn’t have a problem with them demanding, but in what manner are they doing it? And most importantly, are they living up to their side of the bargain? This is a relationship, remember. Are they doing their part, or, do they just make demands, then go around enjoying themselves? Any level-headed man would love to provide for his woman and keep her happy.

But you shouldn’t become a problem. Where is the point in keeping your man on his toes all the time while you go out to do your manicure and facials? He is going to go out there, break his back looking for the money to keep up with your demands, then after a few years you will not have much of a man left in him. Then what? So, I say everything should be in moderation, if you can chip in here and there, then do it. Also, only demand where you rightfully deserve. But first, show some cause!

Eugene Mugisha
No, she shouldn’t have to demand. That already shows something is amiss in the marriage if a woman has to demand to be provided for. A responsible man should be aware of his responsibilities, and should seek to fulfil them without the woman having to demand first.

This gets a little tricky though, with women who are able to provide too. Sometimes, the lines may get blurry, but in the end, the woman shouldn’t be put in a situation of having to demand first, no matter the situation.