On Parenting: Obsessive compulsive disorder

There are those friends who come into our lives who really make an impact. I have a collection of good friends whom I believe were sent into my life to provide a certain sense of sanity. These friends are few and quite in between; but they are the kind of friends who will tell it to me as it is, albeit gently sometimes. They are the kind of friends who can tell you your new hairstyle that cost you an arm and a leg is not all that flattering to your face or the kind who will tell you to go and apologise because you said an unkind word to someone.

One such friend once told me about a condition called Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Apparently, it is a condition where an individual is so particular about one thing or other that it becomes obsessive. People who carry their own cutlery to the restaurant because they do not trust the hotel’s or those who clean and clean because they fear to contract germs. She shared that her teen daughter constantly told her she had OCD because of the high inclination she had for order and cleanliness. She then gently pointed out that I had traces of OCD and that I might be a patient, just like herself. I decided that I was not going to argue with her but this gave me lots of food for thought, especially as I worked at improving my parenting skills.

You see, being a parent is no easy task and that there be no parenting manual that one receives at the birth of a child does not make the situation easier. So, if the mum has OCD and has children who are as child-like as can be, that can be quite some equation. I find that disorganised places stress me out. Seriously. Therefore, when I get home and the house is upside down with toys, books, papers, plates and spoons, it stresses me. Unmade beds with clothes and clutter all over stress me out.

It became clear that my being an OCD sufferer was not helping matters. So, I purposed to be less demanding and not to be so worked up about my children’s childishness. God saw it fit that I, with all the OCD in me, should live with children without OCD. It must have been to make me a better person and to make them much more organised, so, I guess at the end of it all, it actually balances out.

jmabola@yahoo.com