Raising my four boys into fine young men

Prossy Sentamu with two of her four sons. photos by Rachel Ajwang.

What you need to know:

PARENTING boys. She prayed for two boys and two girls but ended up with four boys. Prossy Sentamu has managed to love and raise them into responsible young men

In a Muganda’s homestead, the sight of a grown man engaged in ordinary house chores is not a common one. That is why when we reach the Ssentamus homestead on a Sunday morning, in Nabutti zone, Mukono, I’m amazed to see a fine gentleman busy mopping the front verandah!
26-year-old Denis Mawejje Ssentamu is Prossy Kevin and Charles Kabanda Ssentamu’s first born son.

Mawejje’s ability to take on any form of domestic chore is a quality Prossy takes pride in when talking of the success she has had raising her lot of four boys. She has ensured her boys are so versatile they can even peel.
As she gleefully reveals, “These are my boys and my girls. Anything I would have desired a girl child for, they can do it!”

More than she bargained for
When Prossy, 42, first moved in with her husband in 1988, her prayers was to have two boys and two girls. Denis Mawejje came first in 1989, and it was a good start. “Some people tend to prefer a girl for a first born, but I was happy to have a boy first.”

Three years later, she was due again and the result was another boy, as was the third born. “I was somewhat disappointed. Clearly, a girl would have been my pick for a third born, given that I had two boys already. But God decided otherwise and I accepted his decision. I loved my boy nonetheless,” she says.

She almost gave up on the hunt for a baby girl but after her formal wedding in May 2000, Prossy decided to try one more time for a girl. Again, it was a boy;

“I remember expressing my dissatisfaction with the sex of child in front of the doctor, and him cynically asking whether we should throw the baby away. My mother who had accompanied me to hospital asked me whether it was fair of me to frown on my four handsome boys yet there were women out there who did not have a single child.” She made peace with her lot of boys, and her husband was not bothered either.

No easy feat
Today, Prossy joyfully says the boys have turned out to be everything a parent could ever ask for. “The happiest days are the ones when they are all home. The house comes alive.

They have turned out to be fine well behaved gentlemen, not to mention how tall they have grown. I’m a proud mother,” she says of her boys, the youngest of whom is in Primary Seven now and the oldest in law school.

But grooming fine men has not been easy. In fact, Prossy says parenting boys is sometimes a bare-knuckle affair. “I have had to fight with them time and time again. The boys are most stubborn between the ages 14 and 17. I remember when the first two became adolescents.

They would not comply with everything I said. They were unruly and had even joined bad peer cliques. It required an iron hand to bring them to order and I was not strong enough, yet their dad worked far away in Masaka.

“He was not readily available to bring them to order. I hired a Local District Unit officer who was also a friend to give them serious strokes on my behalf. They begged and pleaded for mercy but I insisted that he gives them 10 hot ones each. After that day, they were back in line.”

However, she is quick to point out that the occasions on which she had to employ the rod were very minimal. She advises every parent raising boys not to use too much force because when you do, they soon get too used to it and it becomes ineffective.

“And anyway, what will happen when they are too old to be flogged and only words have to keep them in order? It is very important to make sure they listen to your words. Bring them close as friends. That is how you will be able to tame them for the better even when they are adults,” she tips.

The best way
“Keep the father involved. Of course, a single mother can raise boys into fine men. But if their father is available, ensure to have him take part in the parenting. My husband has been the best father so far, and I attribute a lot of the success we have had raising our boys to him. He has been a role model, a man they could look up to. At times, it will take a father to raise a real man.”