Itried not to interfere with the way she had been living her life before we met. And as a courtesy, I expected the same in return.
There is an adjustment period, and there are adjustments to be made during that time, otherwise it would not be called an adjustment period. However, that is alright with me, it is expected.
What was not expected was her trying to turn me into a totally different person.
First, it was the movies. She found my taste and collection of movies too ‘violent’, ‘dark’, ‘rough’, and other equally unlovely words.
From the outset, I realised we did not share a taste in movies but I had not considered having to abandon my taste and move over to her side. I never tried to make her like my movies and she was not going to let the matter rest just like that. She once deleted a movie from my laptop, which she found ‘excessively violent’.
I did not notice this until several weeks later when I wanted to watch that movie, and it was nowhere to be found.
Soon, movies started literally walking out of my laptop. Then I caught her deleting them, and we had our first major fight.
Our second fight came when I refused to join her for her weekly church cell gatherings. When she invited me to go with her the first time, I told her it was not my thing; Sunday church worked for me, but please feel free to go for your cell meetings.
She seemed to get my drift, and for a while left me alone—for a while. One day, she asked me why I never went with her for cell yet it happens after working hours and most of those days, I was doing nothing but watching TV at home. I told her I liked watching TV at home. She did not say anything. She just walked off.
That Sunday, after church she came over to my house and found me lounging and watching TV. She started sulking. Even when we were having lunch, she was not talking to me at all, just angrily eating her food.
I asked her if something at church had angered her. She gave me a dirty look and said church was fine, there was nothing wrong with church. Then she went back to eating her food.
Then, changing her mind, she asked me, “why don’t you like going to church? Are you an atheist or something?”
The question caught me offguard. I looked up at her, and thinking she was joking, I burst out laughing. Then I realised she was serious but I could not stop laughing.
Finally, I asked her what her problem was. Did she want me to become a pastor? If she wanted to date a person that literally lived in church, I was definitely the wrong person. I told her this, but as if she had not heard me, she said, “man, the way you live your life, you need to change and live with a purpose. We are on earth for a purpose, not just to live randomly. And those movies you watch, they are not good for your mind and spiritual health. Sometimes I wonder what I am doing with someone like you”.
And in my mind I was thinking “hey, slow down sister, lest I too start wondering what I am doing with you, and then we will have a real problem.