Single in the City: Wedding tales

Every once a while I meet people who can only be described as characters. This people are too unreal to be real people and their antics would be more believable if they were characters in a book or movie. This particular one called would be most at home in a Nigerian movie because well he is Nigerian.

In my life as a bridesmaid and I have been a bridesmaid enough times it is almost a career, I have learnt one thing. Weddings are never devoid of drama. From the two opposing sides also known as in-laws making last ditch efforts to have their way, or at least making the first attempt at asserting themselves to bridezilla drama and then there’s the goings on behind the scenes. Diana and I call it “Looking into the future” where the single girls come angling for single boys if not in the entourage, then among the guests.

Of course, the factor that makes it easiest is if the wedding has alcohol because then everything becomes possible. Like falling in love with a guy you just met, walking hand in hand to the bride who happens to be a cousin to the guy and boldly declaring that come next year, they will be attending your wedding. All the while, I was smiling sweetly and trying not to look drunk.

This guy is actually Sam, he of the “standing me up” fame and it was not long before I realised that even with his dashing good looks, he was not the guy for me.There have been others; Peter who still stalks me on Facebook after I blacklisted him, Ethan who spotted me at his brother’s wedding and followed me up and who I will always count as the one that I let get away.

So, do I love weddings or hate them? I think it is more an equal parts for me.If it has a lot of talent, and by talent I mean eligible bachelors I love it.If it is full of couples and children, I cannot get out fast enough, unless it has some behind the scenes drama which will make for a good story later.

The story I tell everywhere is where the bride invited her ex-boyfriend with whom they had remained friends and he showed up with another lady. Bride spent her whole changing dress break tearfully asking how he could do that to her while we the maids played along calling the guy a pig.

But inside I was wondering why she would care when she just got married to another man and why in the name of all things Holy she would invite an ex to her wedding. For the rest of the reception, despite all the makeup, the bride was a mess, with red eyes and a very plastic smile. True story!

fullwoman@ug.nationmedia.com