We are indispensable

I could be the only one in my children’s lives who knows that if they do not bath a particular soap, one gets pretty messed up and the other itches. I know that when they wake up in the morning, however early, it is juice they want and not milk first like most children. I also know that my less than 2-year-old daughter prefers passion fruit juice to any other drink and the boy, water.

This boy also wakes up every night at 3am, uncomfortable because of some breathing issues. That is if you do not give him a certain tablet before he sleeps. And like that, I know their tinniest need, discomfort, favourite toy, clothes and I’m somehow always able to tell at least a day in advance when one of them is about to come down with something.

And every mother will tell you that about their children. Not so the fathers usually, however involved they may be, but the mothers will tell you most such details. My husband is amazed at how my mother seems to always call me when I need her to call the most, usually when I’m going through something physically or emotionally painful. It is weird, but it has always been that she just gets it, no matter how far away she is. And she is the only one with whom I share that bond.

Growing up, she always pushed down my throat how she was the best friend I could ever have in this world, especially when the times I screamed at her that she she was not my friend (usually after a well-deserved spanking). Now I know what she meant; a mother, under default circumstances, is your best friend.

My husband recently took my babies to visit. They go visiting but not for whole days, and definitely not whole nights. That day was long. I busied myself buying things I did not need, reading, watching movies…and when the day came to an end, they just were not coming back. I did not want to call to bug anyone so I waited. Then at about 10pm, I got an sms informing me they would be sleeping over there! And without their father!

All I can tell you is that I broke into a panic, making calls, until they were safely tucked away in their beds, at home. And indeed, if they had not returned when they did, I would have had an asthmatic attack on my hands by the next morning because my son was already whizzing slightly, and no one noticed through his excitement.

And they were hungry, although I know that they had eaten. But, I also know that if they are still awake four hours after their last meal at night, they will be hungry and have to eat again. No one else knows that about them. Not even their father, and he’s pretty involved.

In reflection on what a friend once asked me about whether I was a good mother, therefore, I still do not know. But I know that I am the best and most relevant person in my children’s lives, just like my mother was in mine, and like I pray my daughters will be to their children in future. I pride in this, and every mother should rest easy in that fact, no matter their shortcomings.

Happy Mother’s Day moms. You are indispensable!

erukundo@ug.nationmedia.com