I almost lost my baby and my life to a job

“I discovered that I was pregnant at four weeks in December 2016. Unfortunately, I had just got a new job and it came with a lot of pressure. However, there was no compromise, despite being pregnant.
At two and a half months, I got bleeding and on seeing my doctor, I was put on bed rest for one week. However, he had also detected high blood pressure. I was horrified by the findings seeing that I was a sportswoman and had healthy weight. While on bed rest, the human resource manager called asking for the medical forms but I did not submit them citing doctor-patient confidentiality.

On my return, the pressure mounted; I was needed to work past stipulated hours despite the fact that I was always at work no later than 7.30am.
The swelling in my feet was always at its peak at 3pm yet I barely had any legroom. When I asked for a door button due to my proximity to the biometric door, which necessitated getting up often to open for those without card access, the HR found it strange.

That aside, on the board meeting days, I would be in the office as early as 5.30am and leave at 10pm or 11 pm yet board meetings were three days a week. But even before the meetings, I’d have to make all the arrangements.
Head of HR continually complained about my dress code; saying my dresses were too short. But pregnant women often struggle with dressing because there is no certainty that what you wore today will fit seamlessly the next day. On other days, she complained that my clothes were bright.

Three days into my seventh month, I was on medication thrice a day to deal with my blood pressure that didn’t seem to lower, yet had to see the doctor weekly or biweekly.
At the same time, my performance review for end of probation was coming up. At the review, rather than talk about how I handled my duties, the CEO was pointing out issues regarding my dressing. I was told to go downtown to buy long dresses. Then I was told that since I had 17 years’ experience in my field, I needed to help and support other functions. Then there was a complaint of me not putting in extra hours; working on Saturdays, but my response was, there’s nothing for me to do at work then.

In response to the dressing, I argued that I was trying to do my best under the circumstances and that all would get back to normal once the baby came.
Prior to the performance hearing, the head of HR had sent one of the administrators to ask me why I was putting on slip-on shoes, but as luck would have it, they found that my legs were already swollen.
After the performance hearing, I was told that I had failed and the pressure that came with that was overwhelming given what was already happening.

I went home in tears, certain that this was going to dent my resume. So I started looking at alternatives for employment after the baby as I knew that I had to leave the organisation because it was such an unhealthy environment for me.

Pressure leads to premature birth
The next day, I started feeling dizzy, with a migraine, so I told my partner that we needed to see the doctor. On taking my blood pressure, I was advised to do a scan and later, a urine test. On returning, I was put under ‘Emergency Admission.’ I was referred to one of the top private hospitals with specific instructions to be there by 5pm that day. With severe preeclampsia, the baby needed to get out. Given my history, I was advised to pick a few clothes and head to hospital.
However, this hospital was not covered by the medical insurance package offered by my employer. I made a call to the insurer’s representative, explained my predicament and made alternative arrangements.

Upon arrival, I was put on drip and given several injections but I had no idea what they were or their purpose apart from one tiny injection which the nurse said was to develop the baby’s lungs. With a minimum of two injections to be given later, the doctor requested my mother who was around, to monitor my blood pressure, which was still very high. He left with the promise to return as early as 6 am the next day.

As promised, at 6am, the doctor was there and for the next 30 - 40 minutes, he listened to the baby’s heartbeat. Then he called the nurse on duty and asked her to check how many operations would be accepted in the theatre that day. There were only two of the acceptable four for that day. So I was added to the list.

I was prepared and wheeled into the theatre room. I was given half anesthesia because the pressure was still high. When the baby was removed, I saw him and heard him cry once before he was rushed away.
In the past, my mum has been present in the theatre for all my sisters’ births since she is a doctor. This time, she was asked to stay out because the doctor said, “I don’t know who will come out,” seeing that she has got high blood pressure and diabetes. Thus, he advised her to wait outside.

After delivery, I was taken to the waiting area. But then got postpartum haemorrhage. However I did not know it then. I was shivering and they were trying to cover me. Thankfully, it was noticed early and treated.
Through all this, one question lingered, is my baby okay? But no one told me a thing. Later, my mum was told that the baby was okay but on life support and only weighed 1.2kgs.

What really happened?
When the doctor returned to check on me the next day, the pressure was still high. He also explained what had gone wrong. Due to my earlier difficult circumstances, the baby had stopped growing. He was therefore better out than inside.
Then with increased pressure, the placenta had disintegrated. When the doctor had been listening to the baby’s heartbeat, it was simply reducing in strength.

The paediatrician asked my doctor what had happened because on the outside, everything looked okay.
The doctor then advised that I stay in hospital for monitoring as the blood pressure was not reducing.
The next day, though I had hoped to see the baby, I was not allowed to go to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU).
I asked my mum to call the company secretary informing him of what had happened, asking him to relay the information to senior management. When my mum called, she told me that the person on the other side exclaimed saying, “Oh my God, I told this HR to leave this woman because she is pregnant, now see!” He then told my mum to keep them posted about what was going on.

Then the next call came in from the HR administrator, first, relaying her sympathies then asking about the hospital we were in. My mother was informed that the hospital was not on medical insurance. She quickly responded that she had cleared the bill before coming in and hang up. She turned to me asking, “What kind of people are these that you are working with?”

A day later, I was told to start pumping milk. The doctor advised that even if we got two millilitres, it would suffice as the baby needed food and breast milk was the only option. During the first days, they had been feeding him intravenously.
After a lot of effort, I got 5mls of breast milk; I was so proud of myself and off I went to the NICU but what I saw, I would not wish on my worst enemy. My baby was like a handful, basically skin and bones but with several machines attached to him. I was there for less than a minute. Hysterical, I was certain that he would not survive.

I got a response to my letter saying that the bank does not insure preterm babies, but only babies 38 weeks and above. My premature baby was only eligible for premature cover worth Shs3.5m and if I needed any help, I could ask for a salary advance or take a staff loan. I focused on the baby’s recovery and bills since I was out of the woods. Fortunately, I got a lot of breast milk so feeding him was no longer an issue.

A week later, the doctor advised that our continued stay in the hospital was going to be costly since the baby was not leaving anytime soon. I knew that I had to foot the rest of the bill as Shs3.5m for someone in ICU was not much. He advised that I go home with my mum as she lived nearby. I continued to bring milk and spend as much time as I wanted with the baby.
Leaving my baby behind was horrifying; I sat in the hospital parking lot and cried, insisting I could not leave him behind. Eventually, we left, but it was hard. I could not sleep knowing that my baby was all alone fighting for his life. With all the milk pumping coupled with the C-section, I eventually developed a back problem.

Bills and work pressure mount
While still in hospital, I got a call from a family friend telling me that he had a letter for me from the Human Resource Manager. On sharing the contents of the letter, I learned that my probation had been extended. I was okay with that but I noticed a mistake on the dates. So I asked him to inform the HR administrators about that mistake. The next day, he was given an addendum to the other letter.

At the hospital, they continually counselled us about our babies; their on and off condition, our lack of access to them and the like. I watched a mother suffer immense depression thus failing to return to see her baby but I stayed and learned a lot about the machine operations.

With a bill update every two days, the pressure was on. After four weeks, when the bill came, the breast milk disappeared. Looking at the bill, I wondered what we were going to sell to raise the money. I remembered one of the fathers in the NICU selling off his car to raise the fees; the negotiations took place in the hospital parking lot and off it went. I went from having the most milk among the mothers in NICU, to having nothing yet the baby needed it badly. Worse still, the baby was not gaining weight, so the doctor advised us to get a fortifier that was usually given to preterm babies. It was so costly for its small size and so rare; the nearest place to get it was Kenya. Fortunately, our doctor knew a doctor that sold them around town. He only had one left so we had to make a dash for it lest the next parent took it.

Despite all this gloom, my baby was off oxygen after two weeks; breathing on his own. That meant his lungs were doing much better.
He was discharged after 1 1/2 months but still not yet there; 2.4kg yet they usually clear your baby after they have made 2.5kg. But I was tired of the hospital and all the stress that came with it; emotionally and physically. Besides that, my daughter’s performance was deteriorating as per her teachers’ communication. One day, her teacher called inquiring if all was well because apart from deteriorating performance, she was always distracted. It was then that I explained what was going on and asked them to help me with her. I was thankful that they understood and agreed to help.

My pressure was not normalising so I was still on medication. The doctor had advised my mum to take my pressure readings three times a day and return to hospital in case it got bad. But with the fatigue of being in hospital, I took my medicines religiously so that we could focus on the baby.

On leaving hospital, we were taught how to take care of him; he was not allowed visitors, something some people did not like or understand, he was not bathed but wiped in a way that never exposed him to cold. We also had weekly reviews for him to be monitored.

Now that we were home, I thought that he would latch on so that I could stop pumping milk, but he did not for another three weeks. Then, just like in NICU, we had to feed him every two hours, this meant no sleep. It was also tough feeding him because he still needed to be fed through a syringe.

After one and a half weeks with my mother, I chose to go home because I had another child who needed my attention. The baby was later cleared, a month to the date for reporting back to work.
At that time, I got a message from the head of HR asking me to hand over for leave. I wrote a letter and noted the serial numbers and model of the laptop and iPad, and requested for them to be picked up.
Ordinarily, I expected someone to call and ask about my health or the baby, but they just wanted me to hand over. So I sent the things over making sure that they would be signed for on delivery.

Going back to work, I found someone had taken up my job. The handover process had to be done; from her to me. Fortunately, before I had left, they had fixed working hours; you could either come in two hours early and leave, or come in two hours late and leave late. I chose the latter and with my baby breastfeeding, it was a bonus.

When I was reporting to this job, I had filled in some paper work regarding my previous workplace. At my second last job, I had been terminated, however in the financial system, if the reason for termination is not fraud related, you are not blacklisted thus can get work in any financial institution. I had given all my certificates of employment to my current employer.

However, four hours into my first day back, the head of HR called me into her office and gave me a letter telling me that I had hidden information from the bank about being fired from my previous job and that I should show cause why I should not face a disciplinary hearing and why I should be trusted. I did not mind all that because I was in court with that employer for wrongful dismissal, thus could not put it in my documentation. I also had a letter of service from them, which meant that I had cleared with them before leaving. They knew that I had been dismissed wrongfully thus the letter. Knowing it would be a walk through the park; I went to my lawyer, drafted the letter and I handed it over within the stipulated three days.

Besides that, the staff sitting in for me told me that she had been told by the HR to stay and we work together, and I wondered how we were going to share one desk, one laptop? However, she had been given a laptop on arrival. Mine, I was told, was in one of the drawers in the CEO’s office. Not knowing what was going on, I told her to stay where she was as I used an empty space that was available on the same floor.
The events that followed were strange. Inasmuch as I had been put back in the institution’s system, my boss was not sending me mail but to the other staff who would continually ask me how to go about things. It felt like I was training someone to take up my job.

On sending in the lawyer’s letter, the HR told me all was well and I could take up my original place and the new person would go back to her branch.
With a board meeting the next week, I started preparing. I came back with a whole new attitude. I had put all that I had been through during my pregnancy behind me and was just executing my duties.

Four days after giving in my explanations, I got another letter from the head of HR calling me for a disciplinary hearing, it was then that I knew, I was done. Emotionally, I’d not yet healed; I had only come back because I needed the job seeing that we’d all dipped in a lot into our savings due to hospital bills.

That day, I wrote my resignation in three minutes, clearly stating the torture they had put me through and also stated that they had contributed to what I had gone through; almost losing my child.
In January, my son was found to be anaemic and we started on medication. I am still trying to seek legal redress.”

Maternal stress
Stress is normally induced by a stimulus of a stressor which may include traumatic life events, and undesirable home or work environments, which would lead to the activation of the hypothalamic pituitary adrenal (HPA) axis and cortisol production, and potentially increased risk of postpartum depression.
Indeed, earlier studies had demonstrated the ability of maternal cortisol to cross the placenta to the fetus, where it can exhibit a repertoire of detrimental effects including impaired brain development and low birthweight of the offspring, thereby providing evidence for the undesirable effects of stress during pregnancy on the offspring.
However, more recent studies also showed that maternal stress may also be linked to childhood eczema risk. Consistent with this, maternal stress was demonstrated to contribute to the deregulation of the immune function in the offspring.
Report: “Association between Maternal Stress and Chilhood Eczema (February 2018)