Saturday May 24 2014

diary of a working married mother : The strength of friends

By Diary

Recently, I thought to myself, I am in too many clubs, or groups if you would like. First, there is the wives’ club, where between three to five of us wives meet to talk about life. We disagree quite a bit on our parenting techniques but tend to agree a lot on how to walk the journey of marriage.

It is always fun, laughing, catching up, being there for each other and sometimes plotting about what to do with our husbands, usually good things so that is fine.

Then, there is the marrieds’ club, which is fun too. We have been together for years now and are able to be open and frank with each other, as well as blunt. We have stuck together for a good long while and it will be a sad day for the group should we disband.

The four girls I meet as often as possible, about three to four times a year is another club. Having been to the same school since secondary, we have strong ties to each other. When we meet we just talk, laugh and - I admit - gossip, but just a little.

The main reason we meet is to keep in touch. We are a mix of marrieds and singles, with children and without, working in organisations and self-employed. It is refreshing when we do meet because we bring a whole bag of various experiences to share from.

The bible study group is what I would say is the strictest club. We are many as a whole, but usually split into groups of 10 for better accountability and to share what we have learnt. They are strict on many things. Dates for meetings are set right from the beginning.

We have to meet weekly. If you are late, you get to miss out on a few things. And if you do not appear a certain number of times without communication to the leader, you are struck off the group.

If you do make communication, but are away for some number of weeks, you are also struck off the group. It feels harsh, if you are new to it all. But there is a reason. If you want to be part of the group, you must be able to find the time.

Looking at all of these, I felt I was in way too many groups. Most of my weekend afternoons seemed to have been taken up. But I would be lying if I said I have not gained a thing from these clubs. I have learnt to look at my life with a little more perspective and be grateful for what I have.

I have learnt that I have friends who would be willing to do much more than I could have asked of them. I have learnt that it is okay to share some problems I might be having with hubby, the children or at work, and seek advice.

I have made contacts that I know will be useful in future. And one of the best things is that have grown by leaps and bounds in the last two years, in my faith.
They say after all, that two heads are better than one.