Why I do not horse around
We should go horse riding,” Leo said to me many years ago. Let us just say we have never done that because I hate horses. Fine, I fear the animals but men do not go around admitting they fear things.
We simply rebrand the problem. Like instead of saying you fear, you say you hate. Do you know what falling off a horse would do to you? Well, I also do not know but I am convinced it would be terrible. Broken bones, nose bashed in, cracked skull et cetera. It is no wonder these ferocious animals were used as beasts of war ages ago. Why you may ask? Well, because they are very dangerous animals.
I gave Leo a mountain of excuses. I told her I had a bad hip and even started limping around. I told her the doctor had warned me against riding things or risk a hip amputation. She was disappointed because she loves horses. She has had previous experience with the animals. Now me, I am a simple chap; African to the core. I am used to simple animals like goats, sheep and a few docile dogs. Even cows I do not trust. Anything that has the weight mass to decimate a human, I stay away from.
A friend of mine took his wife horse riding and they told me they had a swell time. I was not buying any of that but did I say? Leo told them I fear horses. Women and their so-called intuition. I think it is more like witchcraft because they are always spot on.
Now why on earth would I want to ride a horse? Aren’t bicycles good enough for riding? It is adventurous stuff like that that gets chaps killed. If you think I am not a well-adjusted fellow that is fine by me. But unlike you, I have various scary case studies on these beasts.
Christopher Reeve was the guy that acted the DC Comic’s action hero Superman back in 1978. He was thrown off a horse during an equestrian competition in 1995 and become paralysed for life. He was confined to a wheel chair and passed away in 2004. A classic case of horses behaving badly.
Why do you think they are always wearing a long face. Its because the unruly beasts do not want to be ridden. But humans just do not get it.
