My battle with bipolar disorder and depression

Evas Natukunda shares her story with our reporter. Although the condition limits her from doing a number of things, she believes one day she will be employed and earn a living to sustain herself. photo by Esther Oluka

What you need to know:

  • Evas Natukunda was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2009.
  • However, she still yawns to live a normal life and believes that one day she will be able to.
  • She shares her story with Esther Oluka.

On a Wednesday morning, Evas Natukunda welcomes me to her family home in Bukoto, a Kampala suburb. Dressed in a floral blouse and a pair of maroon trousers, Natukunda smiles as she ushers me into the living room.
There are maroon-coloured seats placed at different positions in the room and a number of family photographs hanging on the wall.
She is a tall, light skinned woman. She welcomes me warmly and very soon we are chatting amiably like old friends.
Change
At a glance, one would be hard pressed to believe Natukunda suffers from a brain disorder. Looking back, she recalls being normal until 2008. As the vice president of Makerere university’s law society, Natukunda found it hard to juggle the responsibilities of the club and her studies. The position came with a number of obligations including soliciting funds for the association and being at the centre of organising the annual law dinner.
“We had the dinner in 2009 but it was not successful. Things did not go according to plan. For starters, we lacked enough money to fund the event. Then, on the actual day of the event, some people missed food and there were those who attended without making the necessary payments, among other issues,” she says.
Overall, Natukunda says the whole event was disorganised and having been one of the organisers, she was partly blamed for the unfortunate incidents and this stressed her a lot.
“I had personally injected a lot of resources and time into organising this dinner but was saddened that things did not go as expected,” she says, adding: “At that time, I was even preparing for end of semester examinations and was lucky to sit and pass them.”
Suddenly, the 29-year-old says she snapped and her behaviour and personality changed. She became unusually active and excited which was a contrast to her usually calm persona. “My mind was in high gear. I was always up and down, happy and feeling like superwoman. There were times I would go for days without sleep but I would never feel tired,” she says.
“There was a time I did not sleep for four days. My eyes were constantly open and during this time, I would hallucinate (an experience in which one hears, sees or feels things that do not exist),” she adds.

Natukunda further baffled family members when she started washing dishes at home, and yet, she hated performing this particular house chore.
One time, she even took her friends for an outing to a hotel without having any money to pay the bills.
“One of my sisters had been closely monitoring my behaviour for a while. On this particular day, she followed me to the hotel and asked what I was doing. I responded that I was planning on calling someone to make the payments. I remember her looking straight at me and mentioning that I was mad and needed help,” she says.
The bill was eventually settled by concerned family members who at this point had realised that Natukunda needed help.

The diagnosis
In 2009, she was taken to see Dr Margaret Mungherera, a distinguished medical doctor and psychiatrist who passed away in 2017. Mungherera observed Natukunda for a while before diagnosing her with bipolar disorder.
“She handled my case until the time I graduated in 2014. During that time, I took medication which helped to keep me sane,” she says.
After completing university, she worked as a legal intern for a period of one year at Uganda Law Reform Commission (ULRC) whose primary mandate is to study and keep under constant review Acts and all other laws compromising the laws of Uganda with a view of making recommendations for their systematic improvement, development and reform.
She also worked as legal assistant at ULRC for five months.
She managed to sit for pre-entry examinations in 2015 at Law Development Centre (LDC), and passed. She opted to commute from home for the studies. However, a few months down the road, she started experiencing episodes of bipolar attacks.
“I failed to sleep. I was still taking my medication but developing several side effects including drowsiness that would make me fail to concentrate in class,” she says.
When she was not feeling like she was on top of the world, she would be down in the pits which psychiatrists diagnosed as depression. Natukunda says she would experience episodes of overwhelming sadness and did not want to see anyone or do anything.
“This is when I feel like this ailment is a curse which alienates me from family and friends,” she says.

Cause
Natukunda says the loss of her father in 2013 partly contributed to her depression. “His death left a huge gap that I have not been able to recover from to date,” she says.
Unfortunately, the bipolar episodes affected her studies to the extent that she was not able to continue taking classes at LDC.
“I discontinued my studies after getting stressed a lot. LDC requires hard work and the coursework given is not a walk in the park. I failed to keep up,” she says.
On whether her friends at LDC knew about her disorder, Natukunda says it was quite difficult for them to notice that she was unwell even when her behaviour was inappropriate at times.
“They probably thought the excitement and unruliness at times were part of my character. It was only close family members who knew that I was unwell. I chose my health over studies,” she emphasises.
Natukunda still takes her medication on a daily basis and is looking forward to a bright future. Although she is currently unemployed, she is searching for a job and believes that one day she will be able to work and sustain herself.

Coping
There are several ways Natukunda copes with her bipolar disorder. Besides adhering to medication, she always tries to remain positive and optimistic that one day, she will completely be fine.
Then, she tries as much as possible to stay away from incidents that worry or cause her stress.
“For instance, if I am doing something and I realise its straining me, I abandon it,” she says, adding: “Staying away from stressful activities lessens the bipolar attacks.”
It is important that patients relax and stay away from triggers such as alcohol and drugs. But also, having a strong support from among other family members and friends enables one to cope easily with the disorder.

Growing up
Born in 1988 in Rukungiri District to Margaret Mugisha and the late Amos Mugisha, Natukunda completed Prima-ry Seven in 2000 at Kampala Parents School. She then completed her Senior Four in 2004 and Senior Six in 2006 at Trinity College Nabbingo.
“I always performed well in class and was on several occasions given certificates of excellence,” she says.
After attaining 24 points in the Uganda Advanced Certificate of Education (UACE) examinations, she was ad-mitted to Makerere University in 2007 to study a Bachelor of laws on government sponsorship.

Warning signs:
Emmanuel Kiiza Mwesiga, a psychiatrist at Nakasero Hospital, says:
• Many times, bipolar disorder is diagnosed less frequently than its occurrence. In other words, people suffer from it but are hardly examined and accorded the necessary help. However, one of the obvious tell-tale signs is when someone starts acting unusually strange and differently from their usual self.
• The signs often depend on whether one has a depressive or manic episode. Depression comprises of poor sleep, excessive sadness, loss of interest in pleasurable activities as well as suicidal tendencies.
Mania is elated mood, developing grandiose (impressive) ideas, over talking, impaired judgment and getting easily irritable. When someone is a manic or depressive episode, they can have a panic attack, which happens with a combination of the above symptoms.
• It is important that one gets examined upon noticing any of the mentioned symptoms.