My husband refuses to have sex with me if I wash my vagina

I recently got married but my husband refuses to have sex with me if I wash my vagina. Surely won’t I smell if I do not bathe? What can I do?

Dear NC,
The vagina produces a discharge making it self-cleansing and self-lubricating. That said, when this discharge exits the vagina it may become stale and develop a bad odour apart from being joined by the smell from the anal area.
Therefore, it is the opening and the outer areas (vulva) as well as between the opening and anus that require washing at least once or twice a day (could be more after sex or during periods) using a plain, nonperfume, non-antiseptic soap.
Then the anus and areas around it should be washed last while avoiding soap at the opening because soap can irritate the anal mucous membrane.
Washing inside the vagina with scented soaps or antiseptics, or inserting a fingure (douching) inside unnecessarily to wash there may throw off the balance of healthy bacteria and irritate the sensitive vaginal skin.
Many women wash the vagina rigorously fearing it may smell badly and cause embarrassment. However, this can irritate the vagina leading to change in acidity and overgrowth of candida and the naturally occurring small organisms.
You will also lose the ability to fight off anal or other introduced germs.
Although women may be anxious of vaginal smell, the normally mild musky smell is a turn on for many men.
A man demanding more of the same smell for sexual gratification could be defined as having a fetish (“a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree of a particular object or thing without which arousal and sex performance may not be possible).
Such a man is just a sick sexual pervert who in your absence can even get sexually excited by smelling your knickers.
Therefore, your husband requires medical attention to treat the sexual perversion.