How do I stop being jealous of my workmate ?

Two of my colleagues at office seem to have everything going well for them. They are attractive and have a fabulous dress sense. They also seem to have a much better and exciting lifestyle than mine yet we are all in the same age bracket. I am jealous and feel inadequate around them. How should I deal with this? Maliza

Dear Maliza,
The feeling of inadequacy affects most people at some point of their lives. This is largely caused by the fact that people tend to want the respect and admiration of their peers. When we try to understand what we feel we don’t have, you realise that these are not needs but are a disguised form of wants and desires. Most times they are not a true picture of success. The form of admiration that makes you feel inadequate vanishes after few years. When you look down your life’s journey, you will realise that all the people you ever admired during your school days and working life are no longer a source of admiration.
There will always be someone smarter, richer or wittier than each and every one of us. The journey to overcoming this problem begins by knowing that feeling inadequate is a waste of time and stress factor for nothing. It blinds and minimises your capabilities. Your two colleagues could also be dealing with serious issues or inadequacies that could shock you.
One way of dealing with this is curving out your own style but not copy your colleagues because you will never be a perfect copy. Each of us is uniquely gifted, all we need to do is figure our strengths. The overt things that are affecting you (style of dress, exciting lifestyle) are within your control and you can change the odds.

Solomon Muhiirwa
Human Resource Consultant
[email protected]