Our marriage is built on trust and friendship

What has your marriage life been for the last 11 years?
Isaac: Great. It has been years of prosperity, happiness, and blessings. I have come to realise how important it is to build our marriage on friendship and trust. During five years of our courtship, I opened up about myself, my weaknesses, what I like and dislike, which laid a strong foundation for our marriage.
We pray together to overcome challenges, we have grown in love and it gets stronger. I believe that God will keep us together forever. Our marriage is built on trust and friendship.

Juliet: I was getting introduced to many different things in the first year. I loathed the marriage in the first month because I was not used to making love. I would feel sad whenever Isaac returned home and his expectations of me as his wife after years of abstinence.

I also disliked that he would leave for work early morning and return late. Because of the distance it was hard to visit my mother. With time, I learnt to love marriage, especially when we got a baby. I had got someone to keep me busy when my husband was away. Attending marriage seminars and reading books about marriage allayed my fears. We have four beautiful children.

How fruitful were the five years of courtship?
Isaac: We go to learn and understand each other’s behaviour including reactions towards certain occurrences. We even prayed together for the future, and some of our prayers have come to pass. Since Juliet was still in school, I had to encourage and give her moral support.
Juliet: I got to know when Isaac was happy or not.

During courtship, what challenged you the most?
Isaac: Juliet had already given me her affirmative stand. I only had to learn how to be patient.

Juliet: Keeping the promise of abstinence until marriage and the fact that I was still at university, I was not sure if Isaac would wait for me. I’m glad we managed.

What attracted you to each other?
Isaac: Juliet is God-fearing, loving, open and understanding.
Juliet: He is handsome, supportive, God-fearing, principled, and he has good leadership skills.

When did you meet Juliet?
Isaac: I met Juliet in September 2002 at her brother’s wedding. Her brother wedded my friend and Juliet was part of the entourage. Getting in touch with her took me a year.

How did you react when he told you about his intentions?
Juliet: Much as I was lonely at the time because my close friend and my mother had separated from me, I was not looking for a partner. When Isaac proposed, I suggested that we start as friends since I was still a student and he agreed to it.

What has kept you going?
Isaac: We pray together. Being a good listener and accepting that I’m prone to mistakes and saying sorry when I am in the wrong. I trust my wife and let her do things which give her confidence. We are open about our finances and know each other’s finance secret codes.
Juliet: His positivity and I have been supportive in all his endeavours. Among other things, marriage seminars, and retreats as a couple have been helpful. We listen to each other and change for the better. We never forget to appreciate each other always.
When and where was the wedding?
Isaac: December 1, 2007 at All Saints Cathedral, Nakasero and Rev Stephen Galenga officiated it. We went to Sheraton Kampala Hotel gardens for a photo shoot. We later hosted more than 300 guests at UMA conference hall in Lugogo.

What did the reception venue cost you?
Isaac: Family and friends supported us to hire the venue at Shs1.2m..

Did anything change when you had children?
Isaac: No, I knew it was part of the responsibility and I was prepared psychologically. I did not expect her to perform like before but at least she did her best.
Juliet: Yes, something changed but that did not strain our love. We would go out and spend some quality time together, even if it were for an hour.

Where do you think most couples go wrong in marriage?
Isaac: In courtship men give wrong impression. For instance, a man might borrow his friend’s car and probably take the girl to an expensive date. So, the moment this stops, she will think you are mean yet you are now getting to know each other. If you maintain the status quo, you might get loans for pleasure.
Also, some men tend to suppress their women and fail to appreciate that these women too have strengths and are intelligent to add value to the marriage. Be honest from the beginning. Give your wife room to make suggestions. Work as a team and sort out everything together. Be remorseful and open. Assure your wife of how important she is, compliment her to boost confidence.
Juliet: Women tend to admire things their peers have, thus they feel not loved or cared for by their spouses. Do not compare your marriage with any other, rather appreciate what you have or the little you get from your spouse. Look at your strengths and build on them. Avoid watching pornography because your man might never do what you watch.

How much was your decor?
Isaac: The decoration cost about Shs900,000.

What was your budget?
Isaac: About Shs20m.

Which cars did you use?
Isaac: We used two Mercedes benzes, a Toyota Progrès and a Toyota Premio.

What was your theme colour?
Juliet: It was purple though there was a hint of blue. Purple is my best colour.

With the entourage, what did you consider choosing each of those people?
Juliet: I opted for friends bcause I did not know who to leave out when it came to sisters. I chose Asha Linda Nakato Lubandi as my maid of honour because she is my friend and she is married, one of the requirements the church needed.
Isaac: Charles Masalu was the best man, he is a great long-time friend and he was already married.

How did you choose what to wear?
Isaac: I got a simple nice grey suit at Shs200,000 from a shop in town.

What was your most memorable moment?
Isaac: I was overwhelmed by the turn up and the time we were announced us husband and wife. I also enjoyed the photo moment.
Juliet: I loved it when he said I do in front of a big congregation. The selected songs were nice and the time manager also executed his assignment well. I loved the fact the invited guests came on time and were smart.

Did you have any fears?
Isaac: When she delayed to enter church, I wondered what had caused the delay but she finally made it.
Juliet: Yes, when I did not find my father at church made me feel bad because of that moment of him walking me down the aisle.

Do you remember anything going wrong on your wedding day?
Isaac: The videomen did not plan well, the lighting at the reception was poor.
Juliet: Nothing, to me everything was okay.

During the preparations, what challenged you the most?
Isaac: Given the different meetings I had to attend yet I was working upcountry.
Juliet: Nothing, my friends were supportive.

How was your honeymoon?
Isaac: We went to Kabale for three days, I enjoyed spending quality time with my bride.
Juliet: The uninterrupted time I had with my husband was so sweet.

Given chance to wed again, what would you change?
Isaac: I would ensure that time is managed better.
Juliet: I would handle the issue of the lights and also blend his favourite colour with my purple.

Did you go for premarital counselling?
Isaac: I got tips on how to make my marriage enjoyable such as accepting my mistakes and saying sorry, keep the communication open and keep the value of friendship. Never abandon prayer.
Juliet: We did not get enough time to go for counselling since he was working upcountry but from the arranged counselling session we attended, the counsellor put much emphasis on prayer, he said we should make it a habit. And it is true, prayer has really done wonders for us. God should always be the foundation.

Youngster

Isaac and Juliet desired to have a youngster Kharobo Atilla take the reading during the church service.

Cake
They chose to have the cake in a basket- shapes adorned with fruits on top of each tier. The couple chose to reflect a traditional theme in this.

Rings
The Wamatsembes had gold rings because they are more durable. They also believe that these gems are rare on the market compared to silver.

Photography
As you go for a photo shoot after church, make sure your spouse gets creative with the poses to make it vibrant and memorable.

Food
While choosing the catering service provider, make sure they have trays on which to place the plates to prevent guests from littering the table.

Gown
Juliet received a beautiful Cinderella gown with spaghetti straps from her sister-in-law. This saved her the expenses involved. Juliet wore a blue changing dress that was tailored at Shs500,00.

The titbits
Date: December 1, 2007
Groom: Isaac Newton Wamatsembe
Bride: Juliet Evas Tibagonzeka
Church: All Saints Cathedral
Reception: UMA conference hall
Deco: Shs900,000
Guests: 300