Life

BY THE WAY: A case for iPads

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Posted  Sunday, February 16  2014 at  02:00
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I know, I’m late to the bashing-MPs-for-getting-iPads party. Now that I’m here, where are the drinks? I’d like a seat too. All the bashing out of the way, do you know why your MP needs an iPad? Read on.

Better dress sense
The glossy images our beloved leaders are going to be exposed to with these devices will no doubt edge them out of some ill-fitting suits.

Improved attendance
Before plenary sessions, our selfless leaders will charge them at home then come to Parliament to make good use of the Yaka Units invested.

Death to poor English
Bad English will go out of the door. One cannot be exposed to all that text on the internet and not be hugely impacted. Big words will become commonplace in the corridors of power.

Immense patriotism
The internet is awash with images of posh countries and the things they are doing to get better. These images will bring tears to the eyes of our leaders and they will rush back to Parliament to stay awake and contribute powerful ideas.

Knowledge
They will read more. Talk in the corridors won’t be about custody battles for children but GDP, GNP and all those abbreviations that powerful people use.

Electricity
iPads need juice; charging them (seeing as MPs will use theirs A LOT, they will charge them much more than your average Kasibante Kalyesubula). This translates into more revenue for our nation.

Pressure groups
Our beloved leaders will take pictures of potholes and display them while agitating for an allowance for a car. Better cars on the road and no potholes - double win!

Selfies
A selfie is a photo taken of yourself by yourself. With iPads, our leaders can take several selfies. These have several uses; for one, if a leader gets arrested, there’s no need for mugshots. The police will use the selfies

Whatsapp
MPs can get and install this. Their constituents, can monitor their ‘last seen online’ time and know who is working and who isn’t.
Obviously, it is a sign of development.

Peter Kakoma