Chastity knows nothing about gender

Humanity seems to be still going through its infancy. While breaking laws ordained by God, some brag about being their own commanders, little do we know that these laws are only for our own good.

Like most of the girls in the world, all the unmarried girls in the lands of the Middle East are looking forward to their wedding day. Dreaming of the white gown, the gold and gifts, and of course prince charming who would take them on a memorable journey of a life together.

But then, within every young girl’s heart there is a nagging fear, a lingering worry, that will make all the celebrations around her far from perfect and not very much enjoyable, it is the anxiety of that first moment of intimacy where she is supposed to be proven to be a virgin.

Many years ago, a huge percentage of the girls did meet the virginity criteria, and in some countries the family would actually wait outside the bride and groom’s bedroom door, anticipating the good news from the groom. Hearing that the bride was a virgin would cause jubilation and the party would go on.

But God forbid if for any reason it is not the case.The consequences are very frightening, and with the softest being an immediate divorce, the harshest would be death! Unfortunately, if she is not killed by the husband, when she is sent back home, her father will end her life to save his face, otherwise he has to live in shame for the rest of his life. This happens even if the girl has lost her hymen due to an accident or was just born without a hymen, which is a known medical case.

Whenever I think of this subject my heart aches, my stomach twists and turns, and something seems to boil in my head to the extent that sometimes I think I can smell my hair burning! It’s not only because of this gruesome act of injustice towards the girls, but because of the colossal amount of hypocrisy that such societies live in. Societies where the brothers of these girls have the freedom to do what they want, when they want, with no fear of anyone or anything. These young men are only reflecting the image of the older generation of men who consider women as household items that are bought and disposed of when their time is up.

I wish I could report that with the advancement of life and civilization, with education and exposure there might be a change in sight.

Regrettably, even among the new generation of youth, matters have not changed much. Maybe these young men, are now more open about having an intimate relationship with their girlfriends than before, but when it comes to marriage and commitment with the same girl, their ugly face is seen and their true colours emerge.

No, they will not marry a girl that is now “spoiled”, one they consider without morals and who will never fit the image of the pure, untouched wife they want to live with. How much more can hypocrisy manifest itself in a human being that is only full of himself!

With time passing by, girls too have learnt the name of the game. For those who think they will wait for the one and only man in their life, they do wait. Others who think it is an unfair situation and they wish to seek companionship before marriage, a solution has appeared in the name of hymen repair. This is a procedure that is now saving the lives of many young ladies, especially those who have also medical issues or accidents that caused loss of hymen. But it is also a procedure that is unfortunately encouraging immorality.

Imagine how feeble and weak the basis of this marriage will be, how easily it can succumb to the tests and trials of time and how many more lies one must have to make to cover up the first lie.

Eventually people will come to understand that chastity concerns both men and women. In the sight of God they remain equal.

nafhamaani@yahoo.com