Coping with new baby blues

Babies require special attention

What you need to know:

Get strategic. Whenever a mother has a cranky baby, they get stressed and have no way out. Agatha Muhaise finds out useful tricks for new mothers.

One day I volunteered to babysit my then three-weeks-old niece. Armed with no experience whatsoever, pre-pumped breast milk, and a long list of instructions, here I was, expected to keep this baby alive for a few hours. How hard could it be, she was just a few weeks old! The little girl cried for most of the day. I fed her, changed the diapers, made funny faces, even rocked her around the compound. But nothing seemed to work. It gave me a whole new respect for nursing mothers.

Whether new mothers or veterans in the role, it is never easy living with a new born baby. Vanessa Paradi , a new mother has her fair share of the story.

She testifies that when her son was a few days old, he would cry and she would try everything at her disposal but nothing seemed to work out. “There are times I would cry for failing to soothe him,” she says. Crying is very normal for a baby, and there are several reasons as to why they do so.
Shamim Oge, a mid-wife, highlights that babies mainly cry because of hunger, change in weather, feeling hot or too cold, a full diaper, or uncomfortable clothes. “Since their only form of communication for all these situations is crying, mothers can barely tell what the problem is 80 per cent of the time. No wonder mothers feel overwhelmed when these little bundles of joy are a few weeks old. But there are several ways to fight this stress.”

Seek help
Every mother needs as much help as they can get. Between the fatigue of after birth and breastfeeding around the clock, it is exhausting to do everything on their own. It is alarming for parents to hire a stranger to take care of the baby at such an early stage, but relatives and close friends are a great alternative. A few days after birth a lot of people are willing to offer help, you have to utilise this before they stop.
Paradi says she had developed a back damage during birth and could hardly get around through the pain. Her sisters and mother were of great help in taking care of her son while she recovered. “Accepting help is not a sign of weakness rather a means to an end. Over time as the body recovered I was able do everything on my own,” she explains.

Feed well
Oge emphasises that a mother needs to feed well. It is easy to fall into a rabbit-hole where you just grab a quick snack every free minute you get to yourself, but it goes without saying that it is not healthy.
“The first aid for most crying babies is breast milk, but if your body is not well nourished you will not be able to produce the needed amount of breast milk around the clock,” says Oge adding, “foods such as fruits, green vegetables, lots of water and porridge help the mother to both gain strength for herself and produce enough milk for the baby.”

Me-time is key
Getting some alone time will also do wonders. Attaining a minute just to take a walk, read a book, get an hour’s sleep or even a long uninterrupted shower. This will help a mother regain her sanity amidst all the craziness.
Paradi says she drew a time table for herself, “When my son Rafael finally went to sleep at 5am, I would prepare everything needed for the day, so that during the day when he would go to sleep again I would finally watch a movie or catch some sleep.”

Involve your spouse
Alternatively you can have your spouse take on the diaper duty for some time in the day. This worked for Phionah Katusiime, she recalls handing the baby to the husband as soon as he got home while she took the long awaited warm shower.
Parenting a newborn never gets easier, you will often get frustrated and sometimes feel like a failure when you cannot seem to reach the needs of your baby. But all parents go through this and it is always advisable to concentrate on the happy times to make it through.

Not only the baby
Carve out couple time. It is essential to make time for just the two of you when you can reconnect. But don’t put pressure on yourself to be romantic or adventurous (unless you’re both up for it). Spending 15 or 20 minutes together—undistracted and focused on each other— can make a big difference in your feelings of closeness.