Drivers under litter influence

Dear Sir,
I saw you in your big car, blissfully sucking yoghurt from a packet. I imagined you had had a long day and needed a healthy snack. Perhaps you had been trapped in meetings all day long, making the sort of powerful, important decisions that people in your position do. I felt a little bit sorry for you, happy that I did not have that sort of responsibility weighing on my tiny shoulders.
And then you did it.
With one finger you pressed a button and carefully rolled down your window. With the opposite hand, you threw your yoghurt pack straight out of the window and drove on, casually. Not like one who had just committed the ultimate crime against Mother Nature.

I was left standing there with my mouth hanging open. The yoghurt pack lay innocently on its side, dribbling pink strawberry yoghurt onto the red soil. I had to ask myself several questions.
Firstly, was it a human being I had seen behind the wheel, or a highly skilled baboon that managed to fool me? If it was a human being then this was no ordinary human, I concluded.

This was a clear case of demonic possession.
I do not know what else would possess a right-thinking human being to casually throw trash out of their window, as if the whole world were a giant dust bin waiting to be filled up.
I took down your licence plate, because I want to help you. My parish priest specialises in these sorts of things. He has exorcised demons of laziness, craziness, of kleptomania and of refusal-to-pass-exams from students in my parish.
Last year he exorcised a particularly stubborn demon which had convinced the woman it possessed that she was a goat. I can see that yours is that rare type- a hallucinatory demon. It convinced you that the bush next to you was a dust bin, and this cannot be good for you.

I have already put out an alert for you, thanks to my uncle who works in the Traffic division.
When you are stopped at the next police barricade, please do not fight the men who will help you out of your vehicle. Their brief is to deliver you to the nearest church, where you will be prayed over and delivered. My friend, take heart. I am only writing to tell you that we love you as a fellow citizen and we are ready to take the necessary steps to save your soul.
It shall be well my brother.