Erectile issues

Whenever we get romantic, I lose an erection. Could it be a disorder yet I have been well. D.M.

Dear DM, Failed erection does not necessarily point to a disorder. Erectile dysfunction or disorder occurs when a man has consistent and repeated problems sustaining an erection. Nevertheless, failed erection is stigmatising and can make intimacy difficult if not addressed. It comes as a result of both psychological and physiological challenges but in most cases it can be treated to recovery. I do not know how long you have been experiencing it and if you have an idea on when and why it started.

For many men problems with erection are due to physical challenges like; diseases (such as diabetes, hypertension, blood vessel problems, prostate cancer, heart disease, and conditions), generally low libido, hormone related issues, prescription drugs, obesity etc.; to others behavioral challenges like dependence on alcohol and other drugs, poor eating habits, smoking, masturbation, having multiple un trusted partners etc; while to some, psychological challenges such as nervousness, stress, depression, low self-image, ignorance, anxiety and inability to communicate with their partners.

Fighting those fears with facts is helpful in stopping worries. Do you seem to identify with any of these causes? Could there be issues in your marriage or life style that may have accelerated the challenge? Medication, therapy and life style modification are good starting measures for your healing process.

Erectile challenges also pose frustration to women as well. Have you considered having an intentional discussion with your wife to seek her opinion on this? The beauty with this is that while you seek specialised support from professionals like sex therapists or doctors, expanding your sexual vocabulary by seeking her emotional support and acceptance is essential too. She can help you design alternative satisfaction procedures like identifying the best time, helping you feel relaxed and secure, use of fore play and anything else that will make the two of you satisfied.

Visiting a sex therapist will help you deal with psychological challenges like stress, anxiety, anger, depression, nervousness and any other possible relationship challenges that you could be silent about in your question. You may have to gain courage too to visit a doctor who will do several specialized tests to rule out the health related challenges and prescribe appropriate medication for your case. It may be helpful if you can go with your partner for counseling.

Joseph Musaalo is a Counselling Psychologist.

NEXT WEEK’s issue
I feel the sex is not enough yet I am married in church. Any remedies? Mike Kutosi.