Life

BY THE WAY: Graduation speech for future presidents

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By Peter Kakoma

Posted  Sunday, February 2   2014 at  02:00
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This time of year, your oratory skills are put to test. Graduation ceremonies are the source of many sleepless nights in your neighborhood. You aren’t bothered though because yours is one of them. You’ve dreaded the day you’d have to stand before several people and say more than your name from the time you tried to seek votes in secondary school.

When the time came to stand on the tree stump that served as a podium, your ever-present brain chose to go see what the chief cook was preparing for lunch. Don’t worry though, here’s a graduation speech for you.
Thank God. It hasn’t been an easy ride but you scraped through to the Promised Land. All those ayiyiyiyis from your relatives from outside districts are for you

Thank the engineers at Microsoft for the amazing copy - paste function they brilliantly conceived so many years ago. Without it, you wouldn’t be standing before us, your eyes watery, your throat dry and your legs wobbly.
Thank Jemimah who always reminded you the night before course work was due so you could put that copy-paste function to good use. Thank Timothy, who let you sit next to him during exams and tests.

Thank the different social establishments around the city for allowing you to frequent them. They might be the reason you needed Timothy’s help but they helped you maintain your ‘cool’ label which you are going to use to get you a job. Thank Thomas too. His faithful vehicle wasn’t initially created to carry 13 people but it faithfully buckled up and carried you and your crew to said establishments every other weekend.

Thank Mama Dorcus for providing culinary delights every day. She stepped in where Hall lunch failed.
Thank Jimmy, down at the photocopier. He enabled you to read notes written in a crisp handwriting; you didn’t have to suffer through your own notes-the ones written like you were fighting

Thank Sam for all the latest movies and series he braved the computer lab cold to download. Without him, you’d have had to go to EddieSoft. You’d also not have been able to participate so excitedly in all those conversations about series

Thank your parents and or guardians. Thank your other friends.
Tell us you are now ready to take on the world. Tell us how you know there’s work to be done in our country and you are ready to brave it out. For God and your country