I found my ex after two decades
Posted Sunday, October 27 2013 at 00:00
I have been happily married to my wife for 17 years, but have struck up a relationship with my first love (lost virginity to her) from over 20 years ago. I drunk-facebook- messaged her one night (yes...I am a flawed, sometimes lonely person). I said only “You look great!” and I used a fictional Facebook name that was –apparently- close enough for her to figure out who I was.
She was so kind to me, and has become such an amazing lady- and still so beautiful. We have emailed and texted quite regularly over the last six months or so. She has a wonderful family, but has let me into her life. I should mention that I live in Kampala and she now lives in Fort Portal.
Throughout this time, I went through a phase (about two months ago) where I was wildly infatuated with her. A part of me felt like it was melting that I could only think of her, listen to music, write bad poetry...this feeling is like a drug! It was almost cliche to see humming and singing in the shower (sad really ha ha). I felt like a lovesick child again...weird!
I knew the feeling would subside eventually, but I must tell you that I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it without discussing it with anyone. I know that I will never leave my wife, she is beautiful, sexy, and a great mom, but that feeling of “new” love, of someone who is thinking of you and you of them. It is powerful and it is okay to experience if you are able to see it for what it is...an old, fun, fantasy. If you cannot manage it, it can only bring heartache, and should then be avoided.
I hope this will reach other men like me, and they will take a good look at how green their grass is, and how much they owe their wife for putting up with them. At least I know my wife tolerates so much for me. Have your fantasy, but do not let it control you. If you love your wife, be honest with her. If she cannot handle honesty, then be gentle with her. If she sucks, just move on.
And as thick-skinned as you are, it is hard to see the person in the same light after being entangled in each other’s skin and sharing a moment of sheer ecstasy with one another.
Leaving the past behind is hard enough, and you do not want part of your past still programmed in your mobile phone.
Although it is easier for the dumper, recovering from a breakup is still a hard thing to do since it means being single again. Getting back onto the dating scene and no longer making that daily goodnight call you and your ex used to share.
But having that person lingering in your life as a constant reminder makes it even harder to move on with your life, meet new people and turn a fresh page. It is almost like keeping one foot in the past, and another struggling to make it back into the pickup scene.
Please move on or else, you will regret it.
As told to Justine J. Rukundo