In memory of Estella
Posted Sunday, December 8 2013 at 02:00
I am looking at the picture of you taken 10 years ago. It is the picture of tears welling in your eyes. Even your hair is a little ruffled with tension, and your lips cling to each other in the emotion of the impending parting. It pains to see the sadness in your beautiful eyes. So I reach out with a kiss to shush the avalanche of sentiments vibrating through you…then I realize it is only a picture.
It is hard to believe a decade has passed since you were taken. You were a rose in full bloom when you were snatched by that monster virus, leaving me torn and alone; clutching at nothing but the straw of old memories.
I still see us walking to school, our arms around each other’s shoulders. The whole world knew you were my sister even though we were no blood relatives. You used to say, “Let them stay duped” and then you would laugh gingerly and say we are stuck together not just for life but for eternity as well!
That is why it was so stunning to us when the first separation was announced. That is why there were tear stains when you were flown to the United States. It was necessary that you go get better treatment. At the time we didn’t know what ailed you. It had been kept a secret by those who knew better. What did you do to be born with HIV/Aids?
Then there was merciless symbol which marked the most difficult separation of all – the coffin in which you were brought back in. Even up to now, I feel like you were not real; never existed at all; I feel like you were just a figment of my wild imagination. But then I have pictures of us.
At the time fate struck, I was still grappling to find myself. Now I am a man with a gift for analysis, and my perspective is that you are in heaven. So rather than grieve for you on World Aids Day last Sunday, I thanked God for the good times we shared growing up together.
Even though it has been years since you ceased living, I am still believing that some day we shall be reunited in heaven where there will be no more parting. You were right after all –we are stuck together not just for life but for eternity as well!