Love overrules age

Two become one. Pius and Gloria pose for a photo after the wedding. courtesy photo

What you need to know:

LOVE BIRDS. Pius Ngoga, 27, a digital sales specialist and Gloria Nyakato Ngoga, 24, country director at Sisters of Hope International, wedded on February 7, 2015 at Lugogo Baptist Church. They later hosted their guests at Noah’s Ark Gardens in Kabalagala. The couple shared their wedding story with Esther Oluka

How did you meet?
Pius: The first time I saw Gloria was when she visited the church I go to called Jesus Outreach Centre on St Apollo Kaggwa Road. She had led a choir that had come to minister at church. This was in 2010. I remember looking at her and muttering to myself at how beautiful she was but did not confess.
The second time I saw her was in 2012 after bumping into her on Kampala Road and only managed to greet her. I saw her again in 2013 after I was invited to preach at the youth conference at Lugogo Baptist church. There, she was coordinating most of the activities. At the end of the function, she gave me facilitation money and then escorted me out of the premises. After that day, we started being open to each other. We would chat and text from time to time. Then in November 2013, I officially asked her out and that was when I even told her how I felt.

Gloria: I liked Pius from the first time I saw him. He was really cute with such a deep voice. When we began dating eventually, I noticed how serious he was about the relationship and how he wanted it to lead to marriage. Anyway, the only obstacle was that by the time he was showing interest, I was seeing someone else. However, when the relationship did not work out and I told Pius about it, he did not judge me nor did he rush me to be with him. I remember him asking me, “Do you think that you are emotionally ready to get into another relationship?” This showed how much he cared so much about me. I cried before replying yes.

When did the issue of marriage come up?
Pius: I was ready to get married right from the time we started dating. I even remember discussing my intentions with my pastor. It was this determination that made my friends and I organise a surprise marriage proposal party at Shangri-La Kampala. We called her twin sister, Doreen Ashaba, who had just given birth and told her that we had organised a small party for her and requested she comes along with Gloria. When they arrived, the programme went on normally. At the time of cutting the cake, we requested Gloria to open the box so as to bring out the cake.
Gloria. And on opening it up, I saw the words “Will you marry me Glo?” on top of it. I was in shock. I could not believe it was for real. I even first remember walking away from where the box was placed and by the time I turned, he was on one of his knees. A crowd began to form waiting for my reply. I definitely said yes.

Your wedding highlights…
Pius: Throughout our time of dating, we had not kissed or been intimate. Even during the service when the pastor asked us to express our love after exchanging vows, we only hugged and officially shared our first kiss in the car as we were being driven away from church. That memorable kiss was the first I had with Gloria.
Gloria: Exchanging vows was the best part for me because that was when it hit me that I was really getting married.

The disappointments…
Gloria: The lady in charge of the decorations really disappointed us. She did not deliver as promised after raising our hopes so high.
Pius: I agree with Gloria.

Who helped out with the running of the programme that day?
Pius: My organising wedding committee members made up of family members and friends were very helpful that day. They ensured that everything went on as planned.

Where did you look up for ideas for planning for the event?
Gloria: Pius looked up for major wedding tips from the internet that guided us during the time of planning.

What were you up to on your wedding Eve?
Pius: I was with my male friends chatting about the next day.
Gloria: I was with the maids in the salon getting ready for the big day.

Did you attend premarital counselling?
Pius: Yes, we did. We had a teaching of how constant communication is vital for marriage. Also, that the strength of our marriage depended on how we resolved conflicts.
Gloria: Our pastor echoed to us that we should always make God the centre of our marriage. Then the other thing was that, we had to accept the fact that we are only human beings and we err and when that happens, we need to forgive and tolerate one another.

It’s now been a couple of months since you got married, how are finding it so far?
Pius: I came to realise that marriage is totally different from dating. I thought I knew her until the time we moved in together after the honeymoon. It hit me that I actually did not really know Gloria and, therefore, had to learn about her. Also, I had to realise that it takes a lot of effort and work to make things work because we are two different people. Otherwise, things are good so far.
Gloria: So far, I have realised that marriage is a commitment between two people. No one else is in your circles. It is just the two of you.

If you had an opportunity of redoing the wedding again, what would you change?
Pius: I would go for a smaller intimate wedding. Organising something big comes with its stress.
Gloria: I agree with Pius but also, I would not have an entourage. It is stressful dealing with people of different backgrounds.

The most stressful part of planning for the wedding was…
Pius: Dealing with people of different backgrounds and personalities. Someone would for instance insist on including something I did not want for the wedding.
Gloria: So many people kept telling me that I was too young to get married (She’s 24 years while Pius is 27 years). For instance, I would go for a dress fitting and the boutique owner would rub it to my face of how young I was to be getting married. Such statements kept draining and stressing me from time to time until I finally made a decision to pay a deaf ear to them.

What is your advise to any other couple out there planning on getting married soon?
Gloria: Ensure that you are marrying for the right reasons. Do not only look at the glamour of the big day but the future. Some of the best advice comes from marriage counselling sessions, attend them.
Pius: Marry someone you share values with. Beauty should never be the key factor.