BY THE WAY: Make more money

This column in the last few weeks has been taking baby steps to progressively get you back on track with your New Year’s resolutions. Something this noble can’t be done in one or two articles. It requires an entire book, a few podcasts, a website, a number of CDs, guest appearances on Oprah and a TV show. I have kept my phone fully charged in case people who give book deals decide to call at 2am. I also now generally stay up more; you don’t want your big break to find you asleep. I don’t think Oprah calls back. She calls once, you pick, she invites you to her show. Must. Stay. Awake

Back to chasing that book deal by way of giving you advice; if you set out at the beginning of the year to make more money this year and you have not even been able to save enough to treat yourself to a rolex, this article is for you. Have you noticed how there are not enough people doing roadside gymnastics in Uganda? And have you not seen it flourishing everywhere else in the world? On TV you see it.

In movies, in series, when you surf the Web in “atomic speed water prove Internet café” in Bwaise, you see it everywhere. So why not rake in that money doing the same thing here? Set up roadside gymnastics somewhere in the taxi park for example. Or in Constitutional Square. My research didn’t pick-up on whether I would get in trouble with the law for recommending the constitutional square as a place for you to do gymnastics. Whatever it is, set up shop, research on the best tricks people like to see and then go and do those ones.

Another option is to set up a rolex hotel. We all know how everyone loves, totally loves rolex. Everyone who comes to Uganda goes gaga about the delicacy. Rather than have all these tourists and locals stay in Sheraton and then walk to your stall to buy rolex, build a hotel so they stay in it and eat as much rolex as their body can take. Who wouldn’t want to wake up to the sweet smell of rolex being made in the next room? Who wouldn’t want to go to a steam bath with steam that’s delicately spiked with the smell of rolex?