Make that yummy roasted porker

TASTY. A roasted porker is one yummy dish you ought to try out. NET PHOTO

What you need to know:

  • YUM RECIPE. Whole smoked suckling pig.
  • Looking for a dish to blast your party into the stratosphere?
  • Kick off your shoes and read on.

In one of their cookbooks, the sisters Irma Rombauer and Marion Rombauer Becker regale us with a story about a suckling pig. One that may indeed be legendary, regardless whenever I come across it I am thrown in stitches.

It reads in part: “We never think of suckling pig without recalling our friend Amy, an American, long a resident of Mexico but determined to reconstruct in alien surroundings the traditional Christmas dinners of her youth. Describing the preparation of roast pig to her skilled Indian cook, she wound up with the announcement; ‘The pig is brought to table on plenty of greenery, with an apple in the mouth.’
The cook looked first baffled, then resentful, and finally burst out with a succession of ‘no’s.’ Her employer persisted patiently with helpful gestures and increasing firmness.

When the pig was served she discovered that her cook could effect an entrée that surpassed her wildest expectations. There was plenty of greenery and a distinct air of martyrdom; but the apple was clenched, not in the pig’s mouth, but in that of the desperate cook!

INGREDIENTS
A dressed 5 to 6 kilo whole porker intact with head and tail
Olive oil
Flour
An apple
Raisins
Various assorted greens such as spinach, kale, dodo, bugga etc.
Aluminum foil

For the stuffing:
1.5 kilos of sautéed chipolata sausages
½ cup dry breadcrumbs (made from fresh dry bread)
4 chopped onions
4 cloves crushed garlic
2-3 stems of celery chopped but minus the leaves
½ tsp mixed herbs (optional)
Pepper to taste
A bit of milk
Whole garlic

METHOD
1. Combine the ingredients for the dressing and moisten them with a bit of milk. Taste and correct seasoning and truss the pig with some kitchen twine and put a block of wood or an Irish potato in the mouth. Tie the front legs together and pull backward. Next tie the hind legs together and bring forward, the pig should now be in a crouching position and then tie all four legs together.
2.Remove the eyeballs and lower the lid and rub the pig with the olive oil until it has a nice sheen to it and rub as much garlic into the skin as you wish. Cover the ears and tail with aluminum foil and have ready an oblong dish where it will comfortably fit.
3.Insert a meat thermometer towards the top of the hip muscles and allow 40 minutes for each kilo at 350˚F or 177˚C while basting every 15 minutes. The internal temperature should reach 165˚F to 170˚F.
4.When ready to serve let it rest at room temperature for a half hour and remove the foil from the ears and tail. Place it on a platter and remove the wood from the snout and replace with a small apple.
5.Drape around the neck a wreath of parsley and surround the platter with plenty of boiled greens. Get hold of some raisins and place them in the eyes. In case you have cranberries then they do just as well.
6.If you are active, then go ahead and have surround the pig with a bounty of stuffed tomatoes, green pepper and apples cockaigne.
7.Serve with pan gravy and make sure that each person gets some of the delicious crackling skin.