Mama we are still waiting for your signal!

Mama, it rains quite a lot these days and many of us do not have cars that function during the rainy season. We have to walk to a designated stage and wait for public means of transport. While we walk or wait, there are those drivers who splash water on us, even when they know that more than half of the flood water on our streets is really sewage from overfed humans of Uganda, mama please give us a signal so we can deal with them.

Dear mama, even the radio presenter who thinks we do not understand English and feels the need to explain in a Yugoslavian accent the meaning of every word in the songs they play, and the one who keeps saying ‘Ugandans out there” or “viewers/listeners out there’ mama please help us because our ears are bleeding with annoyance from having to listen to such verbal treachery.

Mama sometimes the person reading news says, “Good morning, it is 8am in the morning”, Mama this cannot continue like this. Of course if it is morning then it is ‘am’. We have suffered for way too long under such oppression and abuse of our rights to pleasurable listening experiences.

Mama, there are those in WhatsApp groups who instead of simply saying ‘good morning’ furnish us with paragraphs of forwarded mambo Jumbo like “Sleeping is a crazy journey, in which no one knows the destination but everyone believes that they would arrive at it. The destination is called new day. Congratulations for making it and arriving safely.” For goodness’ sake mama, why don’t they just say Good morning and be done with it? Why mama, why do we have to be subjected to such treatment especially since we are forcibly added to these groups?

Mama, those who laughed at Joshua Cheptegei at the IAAF World Cross Country championships in 2017 when he performed the amazing trick of italics running, they are here, they are now the same people saying ‘our’ Cheptegai because this time he ran in unitalicised Arial font and won Commonwealth gold. They cheered louder than some of us who stayed with him through italics and regular font

Mama, you never told us how we should treat these people; we are waiting for a signal. I have mentioned just a few of these few people, betrayers, sellouts but there are many more. In fact if you go to Twitter and check out #juliusmalemachallenge, you will see all the others.
Rest in peace mama Winifred Nomzamo Madikizela Mandela and long live oh ye crazy Julius Malema.