Family values: Our own language

Growing up as the last born out of five, I definitely expected attention from my siblings and anyone else in the house. In order to be noticed, I often tampered with people’s things to an extent of checking my sisters’ diaries. They often beat me up or chased me around, which I sometimes enjoyed. A lot of the time, I just wanted to get someone in trouble.

This groomed bitterness within me that brought negativity towards my brothers and sisters especially the one I follow. My parents especially my father fought this immaturity tirelessly. Since childhood, he made sure we had family time every night for at least an hour.

The duration of the meeting depended on the complexity of the matter discussed. However, communication with each other was the highlight of his lecture. He even let us have some time to interact and have something to laugh about before he turned our smiles into frowns by pointing out the dark sides of each one who attended. It is until recently that I realised that he was really nurturing us. He was creating a force that would bind us together despite the conditions. For example, when he was arrested once, there was a twist of events where most of the relatives we lived with fled and did not offer a helping hand, so we had to survive through the situation.

Personally, it was hard for me because I did not have someone to depend on and ask for petty things like toys. But the constant conversations with my mother and siblings unveiled flexibility within me to adapt to the changes that were taking place.

I could feel comfortable without his masculinity in the house. Apart from that his teaching has created an abstract way of communication that only makes sense to us his children. We use symbols like stretching out our legs and hands which means there is trouble or a quarrel about to develop if one was talking to someone else.

We also developed a coded kind of communication like saying numbers to mean something. For instance “two two” means catch you later. Now that we have grown older, we discuss more on different issues of concern and things that are around us.

But all in all, I discovered the basics for this overwhelming connection we have. First of all we are good listeners. We can identify each other’s voice and get to know what one is trying to say. Secondly, we talk openly about our fears, worries and needs to create awareness and may be give a hand if you can.
Furthermore, we are also able to express our differences as well as love and admiration for each other. Generally, communication has filled the lacuna of development emotionally, financially and socially. We freely mingle with anyone keeping our principles undistorted because of the flexibility in the way we interact.