Scared of the end

I’m deeply in love but terrified of it ending. Jolly F.
Dear Jolly, I wonder why you are terrified and why you think the relationship is going to end. Could this be premised on the past experiences in your previous relationships that might be affecting your current relationship especially if you did not properly end your previous relationship. Sometimes people fall out with one partner and quickly get into a relationship with another partner without closing the first relationship. This means they carry a lot of baggage into the new relationship which ultimately may affects it.

A number of people think that the best way to get over a broken relationship is to quickly get into a new one to prove that one can still be loved. A broken relationship is a loss that one needs to grieve which takes some time. One needs to look into issues that caused the relationship to break and see where s/he was wrong and take accountability.

One needs to have time to cope with the new life without a partner and to enjoy the life out there. It helps to build a strong person. It is also important that if there are unresolved issues in the background, one needs to work on them and resolve them otherwise they may spill in the current relationship especially issues in the childhood. For example, if one was abandoned in childhood he/she may always feel that even the new found partner will abandon them. There is need to create a relationship that is free from the effects of one’s background or one’s previous relationships and this is possible. Once there is a new relationship then one has to work on it to ensure you build a strong trusting relationship.

Jolly, as you go through the thought process, there may be need for you to make proper assessment of the good side and bad side of your current relationship before quitting. Surely, if you find that the negative out-weighs the positive and may be they are irreconcilable then the choice is yours. However, this should be weighed against your own negatives as well hence needs a lot of objectivity in own assessment for, it takes two to tango. I believe you too have a part you have played either in improving the relationship or otherwise.
I encourage you to seek services of a professional counsellor.
Joseph Musaalo is a counselling psychologist