Starting the great hubby race now
Posted Sunday, January 6 2013 at 02:00
It is time for getting on your marks and set for relationships this year. These tips will enable you start the journey to being the partner your better half cannot stop thanking God for.
What strikes your mind if your wife sneaks out of your Ntinda Minister’s Village mansion and hooks up a chapati maker from the gutters of Kifumbira slum in Kamwokya? So many questions come to mind, several crazy ideas jam the brain and regrets get the better of you. Often times, the spousal problems we see, however weird they appear, come from things many men take for granted, let alone ignoring attempts to polish up their relationships.
Just so you know, in every mistake you make in her life, there is a silent predator out there waiting to fix it and win over your partner. Hate it or love it, for today’s upscale and corporate woman, the door of opportunities only closes when God calls her out of this world. You have all the reasons in the world to make your relationship better than it was in the last year.
Take extra care of her
Every woman wants to be protected, she wants to be loved and cared for and she wants to be seen to be cared for. It is not enough to brag on Facebook or twitter how you are soon joining the fathers’ club. From the time she announces she is expecting, become the nicest thing to have happened to her in this world.
If in the past years you have stopped at sending big chunks of money via mobile money to take care of her maternity needs, become closer this year and show more concern for her carrying your baby. Accompany her to her antenatal clinic, give her more company and be there for her in those low moments when office deadlines and politics are causing her pimples on the face.
“Husbands can show care by being around their wives as much as possible. You can never understand a person unless you are close to them,” says Beatrice Kakembo, a senior counselor with Inspirations Centre in Kampala.
Listening does no harm
This year, drop the, “I don’t want to know,” attitude. “Women want somebody to listen to them, so that they talk it out and work it out in their minds and hearts,” advises Henry Nsubuga, a counseling psychologist and the manager Makerere University Counseling and Guidance Centre.
Work harder and smarter
Whereas the global economy continuously squeezes harder, the family demands seldom go down. Forget about this austerity gospel being preached by even some world super economies like Germany, a woman shall always be a woman. Yes, she will understand the concept of living within her means, but that at times turns out just idealistic.
“Women are attracted to men who are able providers, protectors and nurturers,” the website Askmen.com argues. She wants to sleep under a man’s roof, breathing comfortably and confident the next day the bills won’t relegate her to the slums. She wants to satisfy your sexual demands, sure that you will meet the basic demands of the family like medical bills and fees for the childrens’ school. Short of that, her eyes may stray away to the paddock where the grass appears greener.
Drop those irritable habits
As you jubilate over the New Year, she is praying God’s hand touches you in 2013, so you can drop those habits that make life in the house uncomfortable. From making irritating demands, showing her you do not trust her single bit, to leaving the bath tub dirty.
True old habits die hard, but the bottom line is, whatever habit it is that irritates her, for the sake of a happier marriage this year, drop it.
Show her more affection, respect
When was the last time you emphasized your deep and genuine love for her or took her out for a date to a serene and romantic resort? Did the “me and you alone time” end with the honey moon? One killer of relationships is the boredom and dwindling spark that compels partners to give in to the temptations out there.
This year round, make an effort to give your relationship the spark that will make every day with her worthwhile. Do not be shy to give her a passionate kiss as you leave for office or buy memorable gifts or flowers and pick her from the workplace when she least expects it. If her birthday went in passing last year, do not forget to celebrate it this year. These are small things we take for granted forgetting that they either make or break relationships.
“My only advice to men as we enter 2013 is to respect and love their wives because they have given them their lives and love,”Iryn Namubiru, a singer and mother urges.
Always be there for her
just like the children need time with you, your wife needs all the time there is to joke, play cheeky games and laugh with you. Yes, and all the serious things she wants to share with you, she needs a close partner in managing the home. Whenever you can, save that time and spend it with her.
“You can be available, but not there for me. Men should try hard to always be there for their wives,” advises Kakembo.
Her opinions matter too, so actively involve her in the running of the family business, making life turning choices such as which school to take the child to and related family matters.
Open communication channels, sort out conflicts
Just in case you enter the new year with the yester year conflicts, Kakembo advises, “Sit together, maturely agree on the causes of the conflict and practical solutions. If you fail, do not be afraid to seek external help from the religious institutions and counsellors.”