THOUGHTS: The hottest course today

So, last week, a Wikileaks agent based in Katwe tapped an email exchange between President Barrack Obama and selected Harvard University dons. He reportedly decried their, “deplorably sinking levels of innovation.”

“How does a mere Ugandan university, whose name I am not interested in, beat us at creativity?” he bitterly asked the tight lipped and guilt beaten dons who struggled to swallow droplets of saliva as they shyly pushed coffee cups in their spacious offices. The dons agreed to swallow their pride and fly down to the pearl of Africa on a bench marking mission designed to share ideas and knowledge with their Ugandan counterparts.

The charmingly worded, Bachelor of Science in Kazindaism and OPM-logy will soon sneak its way to the government sponsorship scheme though most beneficiaries will come from the State House Chosen Few Fund. Unlike other disciplines like Bachelor of Arts in Music which take a day to formulate, this course’s content has cost its genius architects millennia of time, (since 2009) and vast resources to polish up.

Pundits regard it one of the most expensive academic ventures to have ever rocked the African soil, after all, its graduates are said to have open door opportunities so great that they can easily be enlisted on Forbes’ list of richest Africans. Astonishingly, Obama’s men are still struggling to come to terms with the figure of at least Shs504 M spent in four days to mobilise participants to attend the course’s finalisation and review workshop in an undisclosed hotel next to a famous fuel station in Ntinda. They are however, surprised that rather than have the course plans drawn in plush hotels, its architects preferred an air conditioned car parking lot. This is because the course is so diversely practical that it only makes sense for these potential lecturers to do things exactly the same way students will do them.

The course contents? Due to the need to remain unique, the course outline and objectives continue to elude the fly in the wall deployed by some of the smartest investigative reporters.
“We want everything to come as a big bang. We are taking the world by storm,” said a one Pasi Biromanya, Chief Strategic Thinker and self-proclaimed unsung hero.

Responding to concerns from potential lecturers of poor pay for such a world class course, he angrily bragged, “Haven’t you seen mansions and huge business empires belonging to our planners? Imagine how much the lecturers will earn when we start operations.” We are all keeping our fingers crossed.