Monday December 4 2017

Oops!The HBD craze

HBD- Horrific Body oDour- approach at your own risk. Some of us with a delicate sense of smell would steer clear and thus manage to hold on to our lunch

HBD- Horrific Body oDour- approach at your own risk. Some of us with a delicate sense of smell would steer clear and thus manage to hold on to our lunch 

By Stella Riunga

This post goes out to all the chronically lazy, half-hearted, uncaring people (and perhaps those with broken/sprained index fingers) who love to write ‘HBD’ in lieu of Happy Birthday.

What is HBD? It could simply mean ‘He is Broke and Dry’. This is a sad, but apt way to warn women who might be taken in by flashy shoes, watches or other accessories, without knowing the real financial situation of the object of their desire.

I wish more people in the CBD would accept to wear a warning label written HBD- Horrific Body oDour- approach at your own risk. Some of us with a delicate sense of smell would steer clear and thus manage to hold on to our lunch. Can the Ministry of Health consider this?

Human Brain Donor- for all those people you come across who do not seem to be doing much at all with their brains- a term that one could discreetly stick to the back of their necks in case of a fatal accident. But better be careful here- where we come from, sometimes fatal accidents have survivors.

HBD- Higher learning Brain Damage- for relatives and friends who lost their minds while pursuing PhDs and now wander the halls of learning stroking overgrown beards while muttering things that nobody understands.
HandBag Disease- Don’t you know what this is? It is the disease caused by ferrying around a handbag that is roughly equivalent in weight to a sack of yams. Sufferers of this disease are easily identified by their lopsided walk and deep grooves on their shoulders caused by the straps of their almighty handbags.

Hairline Battle Damage- Also known as ‘her hair begins eight centimetres away from the forehead.’ This is caused by years of battle against kinky hair, fought with corrosive chemicals, aggressive braiding and pulling techniques and in advanced cases, weaves stuck on with glue. Kindly support victims with your love and understanding instead of gasping with shock every time they face you and you realise there is no hair above the eyebrows.

Please be specific the next time you wish someone ‘HBD’.
Happy new month everyone. December is finally here!

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