What to do for children who steal

When you spend time with your child, you will learn what their needs are, this curbs vices such as stealing.

What you need to know:

ITCHY FINGERS. From innocence to peer influence, a child could take what does not belong to them. Joseph Kato explores how to deal with a child that steals

Tadewo Muyonga, a resident of Pallisa District, allegedly burnt his five-year-old son for stealing eggs. The suspect purportedly bundled the child, poured paraffin on his body and set him ablaze.
One of neighbours said Muyonga had told them that his little boy had developed bad habits, which he would not tolerate anymore. Some parents share what they think makes children steal and how they would react.

Lack
Diana Kanyana, a hair stylist, believes a child may be forced to steal when parents do not provide for him. “ I have ever seen a child stealing the neighbour’s food because her parents would go to work without leaving food at home,” she says. Kanyana says in case of such, she would assess herself on whether she meets her parental obligations before she reacts.
She adds that the solution is in understanding why the child steals.

A disorder?
Ronald Ssali, a businessman, attributes stealing to bad peers. He argues basing on his former friend who would steal what seemed useless. “We had a schoolmate that used to steal girls’ underwear and blouses. He would pass through hostel windows to steal knickers and ladies’ tops. We left school without knowing why he did this,” Ssali recalls.

Seeking attention
Ahmed Agaba, a teacher at Child Promotion Schools, says children may steal to see if the outcome is harsh or not.
“Children in their teens may steal to just to see if they can get away with it. They may be tempted and think that pocketing items is no big deal,” Agaba says.
He, however, cautions that if shoplifting becomes a habit for your child and his friends, then pay attention. Purposeful stealing should be dealt with swiftly. In so doing, a parent should not blame other children, the neighbourhood or TV.
“Children, who steal intentionally and are old enough to have developed some self-control, need support to turn things around,” Agaba adds.

Signs
Ali Male, a counselling psychologist, at Uganda Counsellor Association, cites signs of stealing as mysterious disappearance of items from the house, possessing things a parent cannot figure out how she acquired them. Usually, a child may claim she got them from a friend.

Why steal
“Some children take things because they do not know it is wrong. When they see something they like, they may just pocket it,” says Male.
Unlike older children, the younger ones may take things simply because their ability to think before they act is not fully developed. However, your reaction as a parent should make it clear that stealing is not tolerated and that whatever was taken has to be brought back.
Toddlers sometimes steal to revenge on a person they think treated them unfairly. A child may steal just because they feel life is unfair to them and stealing is a way to level the playing field. This may happen with children who lack parental care, for instance orphans and street children.
Male says if the habit was picked from the peers. You better understand the origin of his friends. Besides, stealing can be inherited. You find the grandparents and parents themselves are thieves. When the habits persist, you better seek services of the therapist.

FYI
• Ali Male, a counsellor, says a parent should figure out why a child steals other than punish them. If you discover or suspect that your child is stealing, use this event to reinforce your family values and to put your child on the right path. But also use this event to help your child to deal with the needs and pressures that lead to stealing.
• “Child stealing can be caused by reluctance of parents to fulfill emotional need. First hand strategy is cleaning up your parenting style. Fulfill the child’s needs,” Male reasons.
• When a child is on the way to becoming a responsible adult, he or she needs to be supported in regaining her footing.
• Parents need to review area of upbringing. Stealing could be a sign of a personality issues inflicted on the child. Do proper observation to understand whether the stealing is consistent or happens when the child is in need of something.
• Self-assessment in the area of upbringing is vital when handling such habits. Caning may worsen the situation. It is important to tell the child that what he has done is wrong and why he needs to stop it. However, keep your anger in check when you are counselling the child.