Sunday August 31 2014

You are 40 and still single

By Paul Adude

As men, our society expects us to hunt for a marriage partner before clocking 35. When you turn 30 without introducing any potential suitor, questions arise from friends and family on why you are still single. And why you haven’t introduced or even talked about marriage.

Some parents go an extra mile of holding meetings behind your back with parents of potential partners. It gets worse if you are still living with your parents and have to wake up every morning to their stern stares of, “when will you get out of here?”

Daring friends may set up dates for you, so you can possibly find someone. They are tired of tagging along every time they are taking their families out . Your parents question them why they are in relationships and you are still single. We talked to different people to give us their views on how they handle such a situation.

My choices
Phoebe Nassanga, a sales executive believes, relationships are personal decisions and it is wrong for everyone to get involved.
“I wouldn’t have a relationship with a person of my parents’ or friends’ choice because the consequences are mine. It is my life not theirs to worry about,” she says, adding, the match made couple is more likely to break up quickly since they may live like strangers.

Could be God’s plan
Susan Nabiirye, a born-again Christian and administrator at Idesignit_Ltd, says according to the Bible, He who finds a wife finds a good thing. So, one should make their own choice of a marriage partner regardless of their age.

“It may be God’s plan for someone to take long to get married,” she says, adding, when things go wrong in a relationship, blame will always fall back on you since you were the architect of the relationship.

Help a brother
Pius Okecho, a graphics designer, says “If you are a friend, aging and single, I would set up a date for you.”
He explains that one may be single because of past disappointments and now he is busy with work and has little time to socialise.

Friends could do better than parents
Bridget Nakaayi, a student says, “One shouldn’t be pushed to find a partner. Their decision to stay single for that long should be respected. Unless they are ready but do not know how to approach their prospective partners.”

“However, I would date a person suggested by friends but not parents,” she adds, parents are somewhat ignorant of what their children would want in a partner.

Friends can be helped
Derrick Jumba, 44, a businessman, would do anything possible to help a friend get married.

“If a friend and age mate is still single, I would ask them why and even arrange dates.”

He says, “Imagine a couple of friends meeting up for a drink, four of them are married and the marriage conversation comes up. How would the singleton benefit?” So, know why someone is single and if it is their choice, let them be, if otherwise, offer your help.