Your neighbours impact your children

Have you ever discovered a strange behaviour or actions by your children and you kept wondering how this came about.
Sometimes it is luck to have a good neighbour. But when your child goes out to someone’s house or on a play date, watch your child for clues of what happened.

Drunk minors?
Alice Mweteise, a mother of three and a businesswoman at Mbarara Central Market, says she always let her children play with those from the neigbourhood at their homes or at hers until she began to discover strange character traits.
“We are born again Christians, we do not use drugs or even take intoxicating drinks but my children used to return home sometimes jumping in high spirits but walking unsteadily. I always neglected this, assuming they were tired not until I I found my neigbour’s 10-year-old drunk. At first, I thought the children had stolen their parents’ booze but later found their parents feeding them with an intoxicating drink. My nine-year-old too had been recruited. Imagine alcohol at nine, 10 years!” Mweteise wonders.
Mweteise adds that after beating her children, they opened up to her on how they have been taking alcohol with their peers, and that their dad had told them to always take little because it is medicine for worms. “Imagine how suicidal this is?

“My little boy Allan who is nine said the father to his peers told them that there would not be hospital trips for tablets and injection, and they also started taking,” adds Mweteise.
Alex Nuwarinda, an LCI official of Kakiika cell in Kamukuzi, Mbarara town, says it is important to know the parents at the household where your child spends most of his or her time.
“Some of the parents of your children’s peers might be child abusers. We are handling a case with police where a parent defiled a neighbour’s little daughter.The two were good neighbours, parents from either family could take the members for outings. We were shocked,” said Nuwarinda.
Lucky Natukunda, a family counsellor, says it’s important to always talk to your children on what goes on at his friends’ homes.
“Investigate what goes on at their friends’ homes, such as whether the parents come home drunk, father suggested a touch or is they watch pornography, these can help you to know whether your child is safe at your neigbours home,” advises Natukunda.

Build relationships with neighbours
According to Joyce Nyabongo, 60, mother of four, lend a hand. If you feel your children are in a sort of very restricted environment and you do not want them wandering the whole neighbourhodd, make a point to be more aware of what is going on in your neighbourhood,” says Nyabongo, explaining that this does not mean that you become nosy. Just be aware of your neighbours’ comings and goings and watch for opportunities to reach out. “For example, if an elderly neighbour’s footpath is overgrown with grass, grab some hoes and and head on over. Offer to help change a tyre or jump a dead car battery. Take a meal to a neighbour who is ill or a gift when a new baby arrives. These simple gestures create friendships, and they send a powerful message to children that “we watch out for each other.” Nyabongo further explains that this kind relationship with neighbours gives children from both homes confidence to relate better.

Celebrate special moments Holidays and special occasions are an ideal time to reach out to neighbours. Help organise neighborhood activities around these events, such as a harvest festival in the fall, a 4th of July parade, or a Back to School brunch. Consider the cultural and religious diversity of your neighborhood as you plan.
This keeps the bad behaviour in check and parents too are not afraid of who relates with their children.

TWO CENTS
Lucky Natukunda, a family counsellor advises parents:
To always keep their children under watch because not all neigbours are good.
Be inquisitive about the culture, behaviour of parents where your children goes
Ask children to speak freely on what happens at their neigbours’ place when they visit .
She however notes the biggest challenge these days is that parents have entrusted almost full responsibility of their children to housemaids and house helps.