‘Patriotism is buying medical supplies, not Utl SIM cards’

Bahati: Anite, do you own a Utl SIM card?
Anite: Why not?
Bahati: Be honest.
Anite: Take your attention back to where it belongs. I am not your type.
Ecweru: Now the film is starting. What is Bahati’s type?
Mpuuga: And what is his attention?
Anite: What matters is that I have a SIM card.
Franca: Don’t be evasive.
Lubwama: Evasive means?
Anite: @Franca, the issue was owning a Utl SIM card. The rest is just between me and Bahati. Let’s drop the subject.
Ecweru: Bahati?
Nsereko: Interesting.
Tumwebaze: But how does this talk help develop our country? The nation needs us to focus on serious things.
Bahati: Anite, we are not done here. And you, Tumwebaze, you better go and tweet to your online followers. We have allegations to substantiate here.
Anite: Okay, hold it. I meant his attention being Otafiire and gays. His type, I meant just that I am neither the gay rights activists nor Otafiire for that matter.
Lokodo: I was getting worried here but this is better. Good you clarified.
Bahati: So what is Anite’s Utl number?
Anite: It’s private.
Mpuuga: So who stands to gain from your directive? Did you like even invest a minute in consulting others before speaking?
Lubwama: No one answers me nowadays. Anyway, the bigger shocker for me was finding out that Anite is also a minister.
Okupa: Very funny @Lubwama. The grammar aside, the times are so weird. It’s no longer easy to keep up with the ministers. Some have overlapping functions, others go to State House to fight over who deserves more winks from the big man, and then there are those who... let me stop there.
Fungaroo: At least Lokodo has his plate full, running after Makerere students and threatening to take action on Angella Kalule and such things.
Anite: Ugandans need to embrace patriotism and live it.
Katuntu: But Anite, slithering has never made a worm a snake. Just because Utl stands for Uganda Telecom Limited doesn’t mean it is a Ugandan franchise. Did you direct Ugandans to fly “Air Uganda” before that firm closed shop?
Munyagwa: Actually, the very first step of patriotism is realising that schoolgirls need pads more than the presidency needs donations kitty from National Budget, patriotism is equipping Mulago Hospital and not that large white moving toilet...
Tumwebaze: This is going personal. Typical of FDC people.
Franca: I wonder why Abiriga hasn’t yet asked Museveni to paint that van yellow.
Munyagwa: Where is this Abiriga fellow today? Visiting a tailor for a new yellow suit?
Anite: He has travelled outside countries.
Bahati: WhatsApp works outside countries. Besides, going by the passport shortage, I doubt Abiriga has a passport.
Abiriga: You people like annoying me. Remember, I am a ranked solider who deserves respect and stiff salute. How can a whole standing man of my calibre not have mere passport?
Okupa: The message is clear: don’t mess with the Colonel. That said, the issue of passports shouldn’t shock us for a nation that keeps running out of critical medical supplies.
Munyagwa: I am surprised that a minister calls another a “prostitute” on national TV and the Ethics minister, who is normally allergic to such morals, has buried his head in the sand. The minister is useless like an appendix.
Lokodo: Watch your tongue, young man!
Lubwama: My interest is why probe? Probe what?
Okupa: Their conduct, not what she said.
Lubwama: But the conduct is out in the public. Who didn’t hear her say those things? You call me a prostitute, well, your conduct and morality strength is already gone kabisa.
Munyagwa: I think Lubwama is putting Okupa in his place. Resources will be wasted on Cabinet subcommittee probe and whatnot instead of just meting out the punishment.
Katuntu: In this country, we have a lot of time for useless things that we keep repeating. Okupa, the two ministers should be suspended with the recommendation of our Lokodo here on paper. Lokodo, am I wrong?
Lokodo: Where is Otafiire today?
Munyagwa: Like I said, he is as good as an appendix. Doctors remove appendix from the body, only Museveni keeps them in Cabinet.