Besigye must apologise, insists Otto

Ecweru: Ah, I am told Dr Nyanzi is back talking, this time on Winnie.
Gen Ali: My friend, how do you end up talking about millennial things with so much glee in your words?
Munyagwa: Is it true that you smuggled the URA boss into the speaker’s chamber the other day?
Gen Ali: What do you mean?
Munyagwa: Is it true you smuggled her or not?
Wejuli: I believe that matter has been overtaken by events.
Mpuuga: Exactly. ‘Vacate the stupid order.’ Oops! I mean stupid queries on who Gen Ali smuggled.
Muhanga: Eh, the speaker was angry.
Kadaga: Let’s not bring this up here. We have other things to do.
Mafabi: I am told in her anger she forgot that during an attempt to probe Mbabazi, then PM, over oil kickback issues, the speaker respected another ‘stupid’ injunction by court to stop Parliament from debating the Mbabazi oil kickback case. But this time round, we are being told a different story.
Lubwama: What is he talking about?
Rwabwogo: Hehehe, Resident ATM, there is no money talk here today.
Fr Lokodo: Mafabi my son, times change. Decisions change. Do you know how Otto’s tears in court is clashing with other past issues?
Sematimba: I thought Lubwama’s Bakayimbira were in court. These guys can act. Why would anyone cry because of bail?
Ecweru: But Sematimba we know you wouldn’t cry not because of ‘mere bail’ but for fear of smudging your makeup.
Sematimba: That is why I never want to comment on this group.
Munyagwa: Otto is the biggest joke since…
Mwijukye: [Sends picture of Otto posing in a soccer jersey of parliament football team with Kanyamunyu]
Mbogo: That is Otto with who?
Ssemujju: Kanyamunyu. See the kind of guy who was making so much threat you would think he is the author of votes in the entire northern region?
Otto: Call it a threat, but I meant everything I said. We are serious. Besigye will have to apologise if he is to think of the north. He can’t send his wife to do that to us. Kanyamuntu is suspected of brutally murdering our son.
Mwesigye: Otto, seems you are the only one who knows how Besigye sent Winnie. Tell us more.
Otto: Mwijukye, I don’t know the person in that photo. Either Photoshop or it is a picture a fan came and asked to take with me during corporate league.
Mwijukye: That is Kanyamunyu’s brother. You are very much familiar with them all but played comedy in court.
Karuhanga: Let’s forgive Otto, he is talking about Kanyamuntu. No court has a record of such a person.
Karooro: I like the idea of him quitting FDC. Mzee should give him a warm handshake.
Munyagwa: [Sends picture of Otto and Museveni during the president’s visit to his ancestral home]. Looks like the handshake took place long ago. Why would I be surprised when this guy paraded a coffin in Gulu in some sham protest against Mbabazi last year?
Katuntu: Guys, be nice. Someone is bereaved. Everything happened in the heat of the moment. Otto will be fine. I can guarantee you he won’t quit FDC.
Fungaroo: Says a man who dines with the enemy 24/7.
Katuntu: Fungaroo, I won’t warn you twice.
Mwijukye: But what do people expect of Otto? Here is a man who is literally a handkerchief being held by some powerful hand somewhere and manipulated like a circus director performing illusions.
Otto: These Besigye mobs, they can’t stop blackmail. They cry, whine and do all sorts of things to defend Besigye.
Ecweru: Blimey! Mwijukye, tell us more. Whose powerful hand?
Nankabirwa: Now that is something I also want to know.
Obua: This is going bad.
Mwijukye: Otto, just because your crocodile tears have dried doesn’t mean we are the ones who cried.
Anywar: God is watching…
Prof Latigo: I understand this is an emotional issue, but Otto, think deeply about your actions.
Otto: How can Winnie stand surety for a suspected murderer? If she respects justice, if the justice FDC and Besigye fights for has to be realised, such things must not be tolerated. We are quitting FDC if Besigye does not apologise and withdraw his wife.
Ssemujju: Okay, this is getting queer. “We are quitting FDC”, you and who? Anywar and Achiro are Independent MPs. One even fronted and nominated Mbabazi. The others who were with you, Olanya and Akello are FDC MPs but they didn’t state that they are quitting FDC, although they are disappointed.
Fungaroo: So Otto is just a human skit being directed by someone? Interesting.
Ssemujju: More interesting would be finding out how Reagan feels right now.
Otto: Now see where they are going. What has Reagan done?
Baryomunsi: So you don’t remember Winnie standing surety for Reagan and his co-accused a few years ago? Did the family of the bereaved cry in court and threaten to lynch Besigye?
Tumwebaze: Today, I like the chat thread.
Otto: For the Reagan issue, it was a politically motivated charge. Not this one. Kanyamunyu is NRM. That Mwenda supporting him is NRM. Why would the wife of Dr Besigye stand surety for NRM suspects?
Fungaroo: Let’s leave Otto to calm down. As for Mwenda, I hear he has been attacking FDC and Besigye lately to gain a handshake that would bail him as money lenders move to grab his property over some loan.
Muhanga: That is low of you. He is not here so he can’t defend himself. We can’t talk behind his back.
Anite: Agree. This is like accusing a dead man knowing he won’t defend himself.
Munyagwa: Muhanga, you are related to Mwenda. Otto will cry here and threaten to quit the group because of your standing surety for a brother being accused of begging for a handshake.
Karooro: Don’t you love the humour among members? Hahaha.
Fungaroo: Mwenda might pay and save his property but Gen Katumba is done.
Gen Ali: Nonsense. He has been redeployed.
Ssemujju: But that Elwelu guy is promoted, like the president is telling soldiers that those who respect orders however bad would be rewarded.
[Katumba has left the group]
Ogwal: Oh no!
Muhindo: At least his distancing self from the massacre of our people was valour.
Bahati: Admin, return Gen Katumba. He can’t just run like that. And let’s leave matters of generals to generals. If Otafiire wakes up from his overdone siesta, he might discuss the military reshuffle better.
Otafiire: Gasiya tu!