Hunger breeds anger, legislators tell government
Ogwal: So I hear Museveni has conceded the so-called #Shs6bnHandshake.
Katuntu: The president has committed to refund the money.
Ssemujju: Wait a minute. Is he going to folk that money from sale of his cows or will he dip his fingers in the national treasury?
Aciro: That goes without saying.
Ecweru: Someone I don’t want to mention sold goats and raised millions. Given the economies of scale, a cow in Rwakitura could clear that Shs6 billion.
Muhanga: Look at this loser!
Mpuuga: I am more concerned that we are discussing ants instead of the missing elephant. Did the president also reveal the whereabouts of the chunk of the oil money?
Franca: Katuntu was probably grinning like a village poet instead of asking the hard questions.
Olanya: The money being refunded should be used for food relief for the poor.
Ssemujju: That is like poking these guys to use the money to feed Mbarara some more.
Munyagwa: Ecweru come and explain this selective relief distribution.
Lubwama: Ah, Munyagwa, welcome back.
Otto: He better behave now.
Munyagwa: It’s good I see you write a complete sentence, Otto.
Ali: Sebalu’s petition just swallowed Katinti.
Ssewanyana: Too bad, but I hope he bounces back.
Anite: Who do you hope bounces back, Katinti or Sebalu?
Otafiire: Where is this dull and dour man Lokodo?
Bahati: Why, is your sleep missing and you suspect he has taken it?
Otafiire: Son, stop being too clever by a half.
Nsereko: I am with Bahati.
Otafiire: Yes, if you two are together, how about you call this Lokodo man and discuss how to rescue the Shs3b being used for buying anal lubricants for gays and turn into something more useful?
Chemutai: Now this is the Otafiire I know.
Otafiire: Who is Chemutai?
Chemutai: Eh!
Fungaroo: We at FDC have food. We decided to give out food relief, but this selfish government wouldn’t allow. Terrible!
Lokodo: Please let’s respect the creed others profess. I can’t stand being dragged into talks of lubricants for whatever body holes.
Bahati: Then just resign from your ministry.
Okupa: Lokodo should go convince government to use the rear view money for sanitary pads at least. That way, we won’t have Stella Nyanzi using brittle words to rant.
Munyagwa: I read somewhere that Kutesa said Museveni never listens to his advice.
Kutesa: Let’s talk about the lubricants.
Karooro: Lubricants.
Lufafa: My friend Kabafunzaki seems to be realising that hard times come in cartons.
Dhamuzungu: I hear a South Korean envoy has also accused him of asking for a bribe.
Munyagwa: So the earlier excuse that he was fixed was a lie?
Ecweru: [Sends screen shot of Abiriga in yellow shoes]
Mirembe: Jesus! The shoes!
Nayebare: Gosh! The jacket!
Mwijukye: Exactly how does a grown up decide on such things?
Abiraga: I am showing where I belong. Those who are not happy, I have enough tomatoes trees in my compound.
Anite: Tomato trees how now?
Abiriga: They can hang themselves on.
Ssekandi: @Abiriga, you rock!
Nsereko: That did not take long, huh?
Nantaba: Ssekandi now has someone rivalling him for the title of the worst dressed man.
Fungaroo: I hear appendix has no use, but I still believe it is more useful to the body than Ssekandi is to this government and nation. What does he do?
Mbaju: The only useful thing he got us to was that coat of many colours, but now Abiriga has wrestled the title for the WWW of dress code from him.
Lubwama: What is WWW? Wrestling?
Mbaju: Wild, Weird and Wicked.
Karooro: I love that. So Abiriga’s jacket and entire fashion is WWW?
Baseke: Is Abiriga married?
Amoding: Or does he own a mirror at home?
Oulanyah: Perhaps it’s time we set dress code for stepping in the premises of Parliament.
Rugunda: Are you talking about your sturdy ball ties now?
Bintu: Dress code is good to ensure people who show up looking like badly mixed paint the way Abigira did are not allowed past the gate.
Ecweru: The name is Abiriga, not Abigira.
DISCLAIMER
This is a humour column and the views expressed henceforth may not necessarily be an objective assessment of the individual or group.
